Christmases When You Were Mine
by Painted Orchid
Summary: Post-Doomsday AU. It's the first Christmas since Rose and the Doctor lost one another, will they be able to go on alone? Or will the universe intervene? Christmas special! Rating due to language/sensitive topics, but its just to be careful.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- So I know I promised to update Seeking the Truth this week, but I had an idea for a Christmas fic, and just **_**had**_** to do this Christmas special for you guys.**

**This story is a post-doomsday au, essentially the Doctor and Rose's first Christmas without each other. This first chapter is Rose's pov.**

**Oh the things that inspire me to write… like Christmas songs, especially extremely sad ones. This fic in particular was inspired by the song "Christmases When You Were Mine," which is by the amazing Taylor Swift. Even if you aren't a Taylor Swift fan, just go listen to this song and tell me the lyrics don't fit Rose and the Doctor almost perfectly! I have included some here, but please note this is neither complete nor in order, they are spliced in so as to fit the plot. For correct lyrics, go look it up, or better yet just go listen to it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, oh let me count the reasons why… I also do **_**NOT**_** own the song lyrics to "Christmases When You Were Mine." Taylor Swift does, and I would never ever ever be able to produce anything half as good.**

_Please take down the mistletoe_

_Cause I don't wanna think about that right now_

_Cause everything I need is miles away in a _

_Snow-covered little town_

_Momma's in the kitchen, worrying about me_

_Season's greetings, hope you're well_

_Well I'm doing all right if you were wondering_

_But lately I can never tell…_

_I've been doing fine without you, really,_

_Up until the night's got cold._

_And everybody's here, except you, baby_

_Seems like everyone's got someone to hold…_

_I know this shouldn't be a lonely time_

_But there were Christmases when you were mine_

_~ Taylor Swift_

_Cause there were Christmases when I didn't_

_Wonder how you are tonight_

_Cause there were Christmases when you were mine._

Rose blinked away tears as she stood outside on the balcony. She couldn't bear to sit inside the mansion and put on fake smiles, play the part of the mysterious heiress Rose Tyler, Pete Tyler's long-lost daughter. She let out a bitter laugh, they had certainly gotten the lost part right. Her mum had tried to get her involved in the Christmas party, Jackie had taken to her new life as a socialite wife as if she'd been born into it, but what made her happy only made Rose miserable. Every day in the same four walls, a boring job and the promise of an impossible life on the slow path made Rose increasingly restless. She didn't want to be here, in an empty mansion with her mum and dad who acted like she might break if they so much as looked at her. She might just.

Rose wanted to be up there, in the stars shining bright with false promises, with a madman in a blue box-_her_ madman and _her_ blue box. And so, she reflected bitterly absentmindedly, swirling the drink in her hand without ever bringing it to her lips, she had taken a job at bloody Torchwood. Four months in and it still didn't feel right, working for the organization that had torn her from her universe and her Doctor, even if it was a parallel one. It was the only way she could feel close to him, to the life she missed, the adrenaline, the running, the saving the world, even the nearly-dying on a weekly basis bit. But she didn't fit there, no matter how hard she tried. Rose was too independent, didn't like to listen to superiors, at least not when they were being stupid, she reasoned, and disliked their favor for guns and lethal force. It certainly didn't help that she had no records of existence in Pete's world. He'd had to pull some strings to even get her into Torchwood, and now she was the privileged daughter who got access just 'cause. It didn't matter how many times she saved their arses, the other Torchwood members shunned her.

Jackie didn't know what to make of the position, caught between worry for her daughter's safety and the relief that she was doing something, _anything_ since Bad Wolf Bay. Rose had overheard her say as much, and as she stood silently in the night air, she could remember the argument Jackie and Pete had had over her the night she told them she wanted to work for Torchwood.

"You're letting her- hell, you're helping her do this? You know how dangerous this stuff is Pete- aliens and Cybermen. I nearly lost her once, I won't do it again. We're finally a family, a proper one yeah? She can't-" Jackie broke off sniffling, and Rose felt guilt rise up in her for the worry she was causing her mum. Maybe she shouldn't work for Torchwood. Jackie didn't deserve this, she'd never understand why; Rose knew no one would, except maybe Mickey. Hell, half the time Rose didn't even know why she was doing something.

"It's her choice Jacks. Look, she's taking initiative, she's going out and finding a life for herself. You can't begrudge her that. The life she had with the Doctor, from what you told me, yes it was dangerous, but Rose loved it and we both know it. Could she ever really go back to 'normal?' Are any of us really normal? Transdimensional family and all," Pete gave a low laugh, andthat was the moment that Rose had decided she was proud to call this Pete her father, parallel universe or not. He understood her. Somehow, maybe it was losing his original Jackie, or fighting a war against the Cybermen, he knew that Rose just couldn't forget, couldn't move on.

She heard Jackie sobbing, and it was like a punch to the gut. Maybe it was just her mother's out of whack pregnancy hormones, but Rose knew it ran deeper than that, and she couldn't bear to keep hurting her. Or at least, she couldn't bear witness to the fallout of her actions. She also couldn't give up her new, unsatisfying job, the one thing linking her to him. So, she got her own flat and moved out of the mansion.

Rose blinked, gazing up at the sky and coming out of the memories like a daze. A flat, job, she'd even come to the Christmas Party, and rose hoped Mum and Pete and believed her charade, cause inside she was still broken and the domestics she'd come to hate so much were killing her. The door to the balcony slammed behind her, and Rose jumped, her untouched drink sloshing to the snow-covered ground far below the balcony. She whirled around, body already going into fight-or-flight, instincts honed from the years of running with the Doctor and the more recent Torchwood training.

"Hey Rose, no need to whip out a sword or something. It's just me. You've been out here a while, figured I'd make sure you're okay," Mickey said, his eyes dark with concern. Rose sighed, relaxing a bit.

"Darn, you mean my subtle attempt to escape was noticed? Press won't be following me out here next will they?" she asked with a weak grin. She tried to make it look real, she really did, but she just didn't have the energy and she could tell from the look on Mickey's face that he knew.

"Sure. Funny. And no press, just me. No one else would know where to look, except maybe Pete. Jackie's too wrapped up in the party. She loves this stuff too much, ya know? But Rose, you can tell me what's wrong… I know you." She fixed him with a contemplative look, taking in the concern in his dark eyes. He was the one she couldn't fool. He knew her- and the Doctor- too well.

"Just… thinking. Remembering," she said simply, giving up and pouring the rest of her drink off the balcony before tossing the glass down too as an afterthought. Mickey winced as the glass shattered on the hard ice crust down below. He came to stand beside Rose as she leaned against the railing, trying to ignore his concern. She had to fight it, if she let herself think back on all that she'd lost for even a moment, she'd break into a million pieces, and she didn't know if she could put them back together again.

"Him yeah?" Mickey asked, following her gaze to the stars above. So out of reach. Rose couldn't speak through the knot in her throat. She just nodded. "Bit hard, I s'pose, this Christmas I mean. I still remember last year. Do you want to talk about it?"

Rose tried, she really did, but suddenly she couldn't do it anymore. The memory of them all together last year, happy- Jackie, Mickey, her and the Doctor, eating turkey with those stupid paper crowns on their heads washed over her. Just being together, and she'd never have that again. It was more than the stars that she missed, the adventure; it was him. She turned and buried her face in Mickey's shoulder, silent sobs wracking her body and tears running uncontrollably down her face.

"Sshh, Rose it's okay, I know you miss him. It's going to take time, but you'll be ok."

"I'm never going to forget him Mickey, never going to regret him," she snapped, choking out between the barely restrained sobs. She wasn't even sure what she _was_ going to do, only that it wasn't going to involve the Doctor, and then it didn't really matter anyway.

"Of course you'd never forget him, I don't think anyone could, not really the sort of man you can," Mickey paused, as if realizing perhaps this wasn't the time for jokes, and hurried on, "but you've got to move on Rose. You're strong. You can do something with your life besides pine away. I mean, you work constantly, you're never home, I can't even get you to go out for chips, and I know you don't sleep anymore."

"Oi, what, are you monitoring my house to see how long I sleep," she snapped, though he was maybe a bit right. Mickey fixed her with a stern look.

"I can see your log in times at Torchwood. You're there from 3 am to midnight. Every night. You're going to work yourself to death Rose."

"I don't need sleep," Rose mumbled. It was true, she thought, though she knew he wouldn't believe her. She could only sleep in little bursts, and that was usually punctuated with nightmares. It didn't matter. She was functioning pretty well on only a few hours a night, and she didn't see the big deal.

"Yes you do. You need to move on. I did from you after I realized I never had a chance with him there," Mickey said soothingly, then stopped awkwardly as he realized mentioning the Doctor was probably not the best way to make Rose feel better. Somewhere inside, Rose smiled a little at his awkwardness, but it was much deeper than her indignation and the whirlwind of emotions that had taken over her. She pulled away from his embrace, feeling the warmth of his skin leave her as the chilled night air whipped around her once more, but not caring.

"Everyday."

"What?" Mickey's face was surprised, confused.

"Everyday I shiver when I see the Torchwood logo, walk through those doors. I can't walk into my own office without remembering how I lost him because of parallel-them. But Torchwood's all I've got left, the only link to him- oh how ironic!" she said with a laugh, not caring how unhinged it sounded. The ones that had torn them apart were now all she had. For a despairing moment, and definitely not the first, Rose wished she had simply fallen into the void. Then she felt Mickey's arms around her again, and remembered him and Pete and Mum and how devastated they'd all be. And the Doctor would have blamed himself. This separation was awful, but at least he had the comfort that she was alive. She hoped he'd found someone else to travel with. She knew he was hurting, and that he'd push everyone away like his leather self had. While she had her family at least, he was all alone again.

"Look, if you're just going to waste yourself away, I'm not gonna stop you," Mickey made a motion to pull away and leave, but Rose held onto him tighter, and she felt the words rising, unbidden within her, unable to hold back any longer.

"It's just- all this. Mum's tried so hard, I've tried so hard to be happy and live my life, and I thought I was doing okay. I mean, yeah it still hurt, but I could go into work, think about other stuff, focus-" Rose heard Mickey's snort and looked up to see his raised eyebrows and incredulous look, "Okay obsess over work, and things were okay. I was, content I guess. Not happy but better. But then something like this, like Christmas, comes along and it's all torn back open, all fresh scars. It feels just like that first day again, and I don't know if I can go on knowing I'm always waiting for the next reminder," Rose took a deep breath, surprised that she'd even said that much. She didn't think she'd made a speech that long outside of work since she was trapped here.

"All we can do is go on. Just try, if not for yourself, or me, or your family, then for him. Be someone he could be proud of." Rose raised her eyes at this, feeling a spark of something- not hope, her life was still too despondent for that, maybe just a spark of life again, but it was something. She could do this.

"Okay… Oh look!" she said, pointing to a shooting star that had just appeared on the edge of the horizon, flashing into existence with a bright gold spark, way out in space. It was beautiful, and random, and clear, the golden-silver tail caught in burnt red flame and following a blue-rimmed ball of light. Rose couldn't help herself and didn't care how childish it was, she wished on it. She knew they were just balls of gas and ice; the Doctor had once taken her on a tour into a meteor shower. The glowing balls of fire whirled around them as they sat in the TARDIS, just on the edge of Earth's atmosphere. But they were still magical to here, these wish-granting lights far away in the sky. Her wish was impossible, he'd even said so, but maybe what Mickey had said wasn't. Rose shot him a sideways glance, he was looking back at her with a sad look on his face. He knew what she'd wished for, and he knew it was hopeless just as much as her. All they could do was go on.

Mickey gave Rose a final nod and turned back to the doors to the mansion. As he opened them, light, warmth, music and the slow murmur of voices spilled out. Rose felt despair threaten to overwhelm her again at the prospect of joining them, at trying to be a part of a world she'd never fit into.

"Coming in?" Mickey asked, his voice breaking her out of her thoughts. Rose wanted to be a part of it, she really did. She wanted to enjoy this holiday, the one that always used to be her favorite, with the family she'd gotten back. Mum and Dad, her soon-to-be-brother. But everyone in there had their lives, their loves, and she couldn't bear to be in the midst of all the other happy couples and families. Not just yet. Her heart was a million miles away, in another universe, and no amount of music, eggnog and small talk could fix that.

"I think I'll just stay out here a bit. I promise I'll come in eventually, just don't know when. I just need some time okay?" she said, reassuring Mickey, although he still looked anxious about leaving her out here. She saw his eyes drift past her to the balcony and the snow below. "Oh please, I'm not going to do something stupid like jump," she said rolling her eyes and deciding he didn't need to know she'd thought about it a time or two before. And then she softened her voice and looked at him, her best friend. "You're right. He… the Doctor wouldn't want me to waste my life away. Now go in, I promise I'll be okay." Mickey just gave her a look, and shrugged off his coat onto the chair by the window, then turned back to the door. He stopped, one hand on it, half in the doorway.

"Put that coat on. It's freezing out here and you're wearing a dress for g-d's sakes." Rose rolled her eyes and gave him a real smile, shooing him off with her hands. With that, Mickey slipped back inside the mansion and shut the door, and she was alone in the night air once more. She didn't bother with the coat, she really didn't need it. Rose rarely got cold anymore, she supposed it was her higher metabolism from the rigorous Torchwood training and her own pastime of running that was keeping her warm.

Rose cast a final glance at the stars, knowing she'd have to go back in soon or Jackie would notice she'd been gone and worry. The comet was still suspended in the sky, like a blazing streak of hope, and she distantly wondered why it was burning so slowly. And then the ache in her heart overwhelmed her again, though it was quieter this time, longing rather than a starburst of pain. She ached for the Christmas they'd spent together, the best memory she had of them as a family, her and the new-new Doctor, back when she was still frightened by how different he was. Now she knew he wasn't very different at all, just buried the darkness under manic energy and hugs, and she missed him, her pinstriped Doctor. Without her, she was afraid he'd give into the darkness and despair that had whirled around him when they first met, big ears and leather jacket. She just hoped he could forgive himself, and that he wouldn't give in to his recklessness and self-sacrificing tendencies.

Rose clenched her hands, wanting so badly to hold his hand once more, to take off running through the galaxy, like they'd promised each other-forevor. No one told her forever could be this short.

**AN- I know this seems very angsty and sad, but I promise I won't leave Rose and the Doctor in misery- it is Christmas after all… miracles can happen. The next chapter will be from the Doctor's pov. Also, I'm sorry if Rose came off sort of self-pitying and OOC, but I figure she's probably reliving a lot of memories right now and her feelings are a bit raw. I tried to portray her trying to move on, but she just hasn't had enough time yet to get her life back together. Let me know how you felt about this chapter- reviews make me write faster you know! The next chapter will be up either the 21****st**** or 22****nd****.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Here is the highly anticipated (okay not really…) second chapter featuring the Doctor's pov. Once again, it is quite angsty, but it gets better I promise. I don't like to write sad stuff, cannon is sad enough. This part takes place after the "Lazarus Experiment." Obviously slightly AU. Okay, more than slightly. And a reminder- no beta, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar/consistency mistakes, although my obsessive perfectionism tends to kick in and help me find and fix those. Usually. Just read, and enjoy, and review. OH, and happy holidays to all (whatever holiday you happen to celebrate.) Thank you to my two reviewers from last chapter, I enjoy your guesses about Rose, and as to whether you are onto something… well you'll just have to wait and see!**

**Disclaimer: Is Rose still trapped in a parallel universe? Then no, I do not own Doctor Who.**

The Doctor darted around the TARDIS console, flipping switches and pressing buttons without much thought. Martha had, unsurprisingly, wanted to spend some time with her family after the Lazarus debacle. At first, he was afraid she was leaving, when she said she wanted to stay. Martha had quickly assured him that he hadn't scared her off, she only realized how much she missed her mum, sister and brother, and just wanted to be with them a bit. The Doctor was simply relieved that he wasn't going to be alone again, not for very long at least. He liked Martha, even if she could be a bit, well _Martha_, at times- honestly did she think he didn't notice her flirting? He wasn't that daft! The Doctor figured if he kept ignoring her, deflecting every attempt, that she'd eventually get over her silly crush and become the great companion he saw the potential for. She was clever, resourceful, and compassionate; she was useful, and as Donna had so rightly put it, was "someone to stop him." If only he still had Rose he'd have all that and more… The Doctor shook his head, banishing her from his mind, burying the pain that always followed thoughts of Rose.

"Okay old girl," the Doctor said loudly, ignoring the extreme quiet of the console room and stroking the TARDIS, the only one who'd never leave him. "Let's go somewhere exciting. Martha will be happy with her family and I'll go off saving the universe somewhere, don't have to worry about getting her hurt or killed on an alien planet this time!" he said with a falsely chipper tone of voice and a fake smile, though he wasn't sure for whose benefit. The TARDIS wasn't fooled, or pleased. He could feel her grumble about how unhappy he was, and liable to be reckless and stupid in his current state. She was not budging. The Doctor let out a frustrated noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh and hit the TARDIS with the mallet, really pushing the idea that he'd like a nice, death-defying adventure right now to take his mind off things. Nothing to clear emotions like an escape from certain demise. The TARDIS, however, had other plans, and she seemed especially perturbed about the mallet thing. The TARDIS rematerialized with an especially violent thump and the Doctor looked to the display monitor only to find the TARDIS had blacked it out. Bloody sentient ship.

"Well, that's not fair- eh fine. I'll go see what's out there," he grumbled, his mood darkening as the TARDIS pushed him on with a wave of mischief and amusement in his mind. He stepped out of the TARDIS and froze as the doors snapped shut behind him. He knew the date, time, and place, but didn't want to be here. At all. He turned around to march back into the TARDIS and force her to take him away, off this planet, to the ends of the galaxy if need be, but to his incredible shock and displeasure she had locked him out completely, even mentally, though she was still a distant buzz in his mind. So, stranded and essentially forced to explore, the Doctor trudged out into the snow. 2007, almost midnight, or rather 11:48. She should be here right now, living a happy human life. If only he hadn't whisked her away in his blue box and trapped her in a parallel universe. Rose would be 23 now. At least she had her mum and Mickey, and Parallel Pete. And he had been left alone again. The Doctor shook off that thought; he didn't deserve self-pity after all he'd done to her- and to his own people.

"Why?" he said, and then stopped. He didn't know why the TARDIS had brought him here, of all places, and she certainly wasn't giving him any clues. Kensington Square, where they'd visited during their first Christmas-and-New-Years-All-In-One-Night. Dinner with Jackie on Christmas eve, and then a quick trip to the square for New Year's Eve festivities, before going back to the Powell Estates for Christmas morning. The Doctor had figured it still counted as a Christmas present to Rose, even if they'd gone forwards a few days, just to have a holiday without any alien invasions. He told himself it had nothing to do with Rose's insistence on kissing him- cheek only of course- at midnight to celebrate the New Year.

Then, the quaint little town square, with its cobblestone streets and squat homey buildings had been full of people, dancing in the street and enjoying the festivities. Now, however, on Christmas Eve a year off, the grey buildings and silent, snow-covered square were as empty as the Time Lord's TARDIS. Why she'd brought him here, where the memories hurt, he couldn't understand. Perhaps even his ship had turned against him at last. The final betrayal. The Doctor tried once more to open the doors, but they remained firmly locked, complete with a mental shove. Huffing and shoving his hands in his pockets, the Doctor stepped out into the silent square, snowflakes drifting down and melting on his suit. His breath hitched as he stared at the would-be-beautiful scene before him: if only she were here to make his world beautiful once more.

The cobblestone street wrapped around a fountain in the center, frozen and empty now save for the modest Christmas tree installed in the middle. Everything was covered in a muffling blanket of shimmering white, crisp, and painfully silent. Around the circular street were small shops and cafes, closed up for the night, their windows covered in intricate frost patterns. The quiet, peaceful scene only served to remind the Doctor what he'd lost and how utterly, truly alone he was- how alone he would always be.

He walked slowly down the street, lost in memories. They'd gotten tea and some chocolaty biscuits that had tasted heavenly in the little café over there. They'd stood next to the fountain- then filled with a small quartet orchestra playing songs that Rose and he hadn't even recognized. Of course, she'd convinced him to dance anyway, in the glow from the Christmas lights still strung across the square overhead. She'd kissed him on the cheek right here. The Doctor stopped, his feet on the same spot, his hand almost able to feel hers in his, a perfect fit, the Doctor and Rose Tyler as it should be- only she wasn't there.

Tears started to burn in his eyes again, and he looked up at the stars, trying to fight them off. As he took a deep, shuddering breath, the Doctor caught sight of a comet bursting into existence at the height of the sky. With his brilliant eyesight he could pick out each of the hundreds of colors it emanated, from the silvery-gold tail to the indescribable spectrum of fire and ice in the red and blue as his eyes approached its core. Rose would have loved to see it, and she'd wish on it like she did even when they'd been sitting in the middle of a meteor shower, wishing on every single one, even though it was so ridiculously _human_ to wish on burning balls of rock and gas. But her enthusiasm was contagious and the Doctor had found himself wishing too as he sat beside her, just the two of them amidst the amazing sight, wishing for forever. Well, he mused miserably, now he knew why he didn't participate in silly human superstitions. Their forever had been cut short, shattered into a million pieces far too soon. The Doctor snorted bitterly and turned away, intending to head back to the TARDIS. Comets, stupid short lived flames, nothing special, nothing to wish on- look where it had gotten him! And then a realization, an earth-shattering hearts stopping realization struck him and he turned back to the sky, hardly daring to hope.

The streak of light was still there, unchanged, in the same exact spot as it had been for the last 2 minutes and 47 seconds.

Comets fell through the sky, burned up in milliseconds and blinked out of existence, more fleeting than even the lifespan of a human. And yet, there it was, still burning strong, stretched impossibly across the sky, like a determined flame. Or a tear. A rip.

"Yes!" the Doctor shouted, his voice ringing around the silent square. "Oh you beautiful little impossible thing you! I didn't think they even existed but if I'm right… I just need to take the old extrapolator and tap into the TARDIS' core circuitry," the Doctor's hearts were pounding, his face covered with eagerness and hope for the first time in months. The TARDIS doors sprung open as he approached, even before he began to reach for his key, and he felt a wave of affection for his ship, a grin crossing his face as he stepped inside.

"You knew this would be here, you wanted me to find it. Old girl, you're amazing, you're fantastic!" the Doctor paused, running over the word his old self had favored. It was still nice, and quite apt in this situation, but it just didn't have the same ring. And then he was back to darting around the console room as rapidly as he could, adjusting wiring, sonicing the old, fried extrapolator until it was functional- if a little blackened and fragile- once more. Finally, he tapped into the mainframe and directed it to the glowing light up above. "Just to get a lock on the energy signal, on that –not-really-a-comet's position, get a closer look, just gonna land a few meters away and _Allons-y!_" he shouted in exuberance as the TARDIS pulled herself back into the vortex, praying that for once everything went according to plan. When the TARDIS stopped in space, floating beside the thing, the Doctor charged to the doors; Donna's method really was quite useful sometimes, and looked out. His breathing stopped. There, before him, was the whole broad spectrum of colors, spanning for miles; light years with a swirling infinity deep within its blues, silvers, reds, whites and golds. His respiratory bypass kicked in, and the Doctor remembered to breathe again, and then cried out in joy for the whole empty space before him to hear.

"Not a comet at all! It's a bridge- a natural tear when two universes brush together. And even though there's hundreds out there, you brought me here," he said to the TARDIS, feeling her hum in glee back to him. Pete's world and this universe had already had so much extended contact, between the Cybermen and the Dimension Cannons, that it seemed likely the two parallel universes had developed a sort of magnetic attraction to one another, almost like orbiting planets. Maybe. Void science was weird, and he _might_ have been sleeping the day that they went over it at the Academy. He pulled the doors shut and went back to the controls. It still might not be the right one, and he didn't think he could bear it if he fell into the wrong universe, being so close.

"What to do… oh I can't just go falling through the Bridge, legendary doorway or not, once-in-a-lifetime-chance or not, I could get trapped. Martha's here, I promised her I'd be back, and this universe needs me and I don't even know if Rose wants to see me. I don't even know if Rose is there, this might not be a doorway to Pete's world," he sputtered, ignoring the TARDIS' grumbling about him avoiding the inevitable. Then he stood, as if time were frozen- now wouldn't that be an odd sensation for a Time Lord- rocking on his heels, hands in his pockets, stuck between desperate longing to follow the even impossibly small chance Rose was there and the million chances it wouldn't be the right universe. He really hated that word, impossible.

"Oooh! If I can just cross-magnify the electrical pulse transmodifier to detect the energy signature of the universe on the other side and compare it against the trace energy of the dimension cannon hole that I patched up, I can use its magna-gravitational field to pull me through. It's a homing beacon!" he shouted, and then he waited, with a grin that faded as he remembered she wasn't there to comment on his techno-babble or discoveries. He'd nearly forgotten she wasn't there anymore, like he did so often. Flash of blond hair, ghost of a hand in his, all in his mind, and all as painful as the sound of her sobs fading behind a white wall.

The TARDIS gave him the mental equivalent of a slap, and he jumped, "Ow what was that for? Fine, I'll get back to it. I knew you were fond of the little pink-and-yellow human but this is just ridiculous," he said, though secretly he had always been proud of the TARDIS' affinity for Rose. Still with a slight smile, he settled himself under the console to work on integrating the Janzahian gravitational locking system he'd picked up at a market into the TARDIS navigational system. He knew it had to work, even if it took him hours. He didn't know what to do if it didn't.

A sudden storm of emotions from the TARDIS swept over him then, and the Doctor started in surprise, though he quickly resumed working. She wanted him to get started already and stop 'wallowing in misery;' honestly, as if he, a Time Lord, would wallow. He had 24 hours from the opening of the Bridge before it closed. The TARDIS was reassuring him, but he still didn't have the feeds connected to check the universe's signature before he crossed through it.

"I just need to re-calibrate the field with the extrapolator's lock on the energy pulsing from the Bridge…" the Doctor trailed off as the TARDIS started the dematerialization sequence. "What? Wait! Where are you going? We don't even have coordinates!" His face paled in horror, fearing the TARDIS might be taking him away from the potentially dangerous rip in space and time, but she answered him quickly, reassurance washing through him in her happy hum. No, she wasn't taking him away, they were going to cross the Bridge. How in Rassilon's name she knew where they were going, the Doctor couldn't understand. He just hoped the TARDIS had her instincts right and didn't hurt the universes and themselves by her impatience- and since when had his ship had instincts _or_ impatience? As she began to whirl into the shining, electric, rainbow vortex of the Bridge, the Doctor closed his eyes.

"I'm coming Rose. I will find you, and I will never let you go, I will hold onto you forever. I love-" and then the TARDIS landed with a jolt that threw him to the ground and he stood slowly, wincing. She just had to ruin his noble speech with a rougher landing than usual. He hadn't even been melodramatic, well, not overtly melodramatic anyways, in his attempted monologue. If nothing else, she seemed healthier than when he'd last landed in a parallel universe, but they were definitely _not_ in their home universe. He could taste the distinct difference in the timelines. He just hoped it was the right one.

Casting his mind into his bond with the TARDIS, the Doctor was surprised to find that instead of feeling weakened from the different energy, she was overflowing with it. From somewhere, the TARDIS was drawing power, converting it, and emanating it, and the Doctor felt his hearts sink. Pete's world was incompatible; if they'd landed in the right place surely she'd be weaker. Then the TARDIS gave him a mental shove, and the Doctor sighed. She wanted him to go outside, of course.

"Okay, I'll go," he snapped, walking slowly towards the door, trepidation and the expectation of disappointment slowing his normally manic movements. This was his last chance, he had to take it. The Doctor breathed in deeply, trying to slow his pounding hearts, and flung open the doors to the TARDIS.

**AN- Evil cliffhanger I know! But I am now on holiday break so updates will come much more quickly! I have two more chapters planned, and I am super excited now that I've finally decided what I want to happen. (That took hours of deliberation, trust me.) Also, all of the science in this chapter is 100% made up. I have no knowledge of how to construct or navigate in inter-dimensional bridge in a Time and Relative Dimensions in Space machine. Thus, any and all data gleaned from this chapter is presumably utterly useless in practical applications of inter-dimensional travel. Do not try that at home. Until next time- oh and please review, let me know if the characters are, well, in character. I feel like I tend to get the doctor a little more OOC just because he's so hard to write- even though my own brain is hyperactive, nothing can compare to his and its incredibly hard to write with the crazy topic changes while still making sense. Any opinions or suggestions are gladly accepted in reviews! Thank you for all of you who have reviewed and followed- reviewers, I try to reply, but if it comes down to time constraints where I can update or reply to a review… I'm gonna update! But you are very very very much appreciated. Reviews make me write faster. They reaallly do. Oh Rassilon I sound like the Doctor now. Oh well. Allons-y!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- I am burning through these updates! Ugh, this is the first story that hasn't been significantly close to being completed **_**before**_** I started writing it. It's so much more of a pain to update-as-I-write. Hope you all are enjoying this, 'cause it hasn't been easy trying to fit in all of the action before Christmas… not much of a Christmas fanfic special if I finish it several days after now is it? Anyway, read, enjoy, and review and make me feel like this was worth something yeah?**

**Disclaimer: I own Arkady, 'cause he's cute and fluffy and totally OC except… his name comes from a character in the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik (great novels by the way, check them out). Sasha is totally my own character though, and any other stuff you don't recognize that came from my highly caffeinated, coffee-powered writer's brain. But anything Doctor Who related? Nope. I also don't own The Rescues' song "Break me Out," which makes a cameo here because it is a very apt song to describe Rose's epicness.**

Rose's phone burst into the melody of "Break me Out" after only 10 minutes back in the party. Grinning at her special ringtone just for Torchwood emergencies, she eagerly darted out of the ballroom, shouting apologies as she went. She didn't miss Pete's disapproving frown, and Jackie's furious glare, but that confrontation would have to wait until later. She'd get an earful about missing the party, saving the world (or at least London) or not, but right now Rose was too eager to loser herself in some alien-fighting adrenaline to care. Anything to get out of that stifling party- and this constricting dress, she mused in an afterthought, striding as quickly as she could down the large entrance hall. The doorman gave her a funny look as she swapped her heels for the combat boots stowed in her duffel bag mid-sprint out the door. As she leapt into her car, waiting in the VIP parking lot, she shot him a rogueish look, and then drove off at a speed that should be illegal. Actually, it probably _was_ illegal. Rose slowed down a bit as she cruised onto the main roadway towards London city. Once she was going steadily enough, headed automatically towards her flat, she spoke into the voice-activated computer of her car. Futuristic Bluetooth. What a lovely universe.

"Accessing line 375 double zero one," she called out, waiting for the automated voice to respond and patch her through to Torchwood.

"Password."

"Bad Wolf," Rose said, quirking her lips in a sour smile as she did every time she used that name. It was still only there in bits and pieces of her memory, but there was enough to know that it was one of the few things that tied her to him anymore. She tapped her fingers anxiously on the wheel as the computer continued to process her identity. All the alien tech in the world and she still had to wait ages for the voice-password analysis. Why couldn't they just listen to her and use a combination iris-DNA-brainwave scan? Foolproof and quick, but no, far too high tech, too challenging to install. Honestly. Rose rolled her eyes, and then sighed in relief when the connection finally clicked on.

"Rose, I'm so sorry to interrupt your parent's Christmas party, but we've got a situation," the voice of Arkady, the young night monitor said apologetically. Rose let out a harsh laugh.

"No, I was glad to get out of there, even if there's going to be hell to pay with my Mum later. I'm just gonna stop at the flat and grab some new clothes and some more gear."

"No time. Can't you just use the equipment in your car?" Arkady asked in frustration. Rose raised an eyebrow. Men.

"Arkady, I'm dressed in a bloody ball gown. Not the easiest to maneuver in, and awful for fighting. Plus, it's actually quite pretty and I'd hate to do something like get blood or slime on it. Don't need to give Mum another reason to strangle me," she added under her breath. Plus, she was already halfway to her flat, how important could it be?

"It's too important Rose." Apparently very. "There was a report earlier, typical robo-santas, every once in awhile some mayhem, but when we- well me really, there's no one else here, holidays and all, sent Sasha down to check it out… She's gone, not answering calls and her com was knocked out. Can't get any signal in or out. The last connection we got she was talking really quickly about something big, far more dangerous than we'd thought. And then screams, and nothing. She's not responding, and I figured you'd be the only one to answer on Christmas Eve." Rose stiffened at Arkady's recounting of the night's events, her worry and resolve growing with each word. Sasha and Arkady were her only two friends in this universe, aside from Mickey, although considering he wasn't really a native her either she didn't suppose he counted. They'd served plenty of night shifts together, and Sasha had been one of the few employees that hadn't complained about her quick rise through the ranks. Unlike the rest of the cutthroat, overly ambitious Torchwood recruits, they had been kind to her, even if Arkady was a little overly affectionate towards her. She had to help now- dress be hanged.

"You should've just said that at the start! I didn't know Sasha was involved. Priorities, geez! Ok, where am I headed?" she asked, milling about uselessly at the next intersection until the GPS coordinates popped up in her GPS tracking system.

"Just sent you her last known location, a factory on the edge of town near the river. Rose… be careful. We have no idea what's there and I don't think I'll be able to reach any backup. Not in time anyways. I wouldn't ask you at all except that it's Sasha and I was the one who told her to go in there…" he trailed off, and Rose could tell he felt horribly guilty about the situation.

"Hey, it isn't your fault. And I'm gonna be just fine. Not like it's the first time I've gone in by myself. It just might be the first someone has _asked_ me to go in alone rather than me going just 'cause I want to," she said with the hint of a smile, amusement in her tone. It surprised even her, that she had managed to perk up on the holiday night. Nothing like impending death to cheer you up.

"Please take some weapons, I don't care how much you hate them. And Rose… good luck," Arkady said, his voice laced with worry, he paused another moment, she could hear his breathing on the com, and Rose bit her lip, praying he'd stop there. When the com clicked off without any further words, she let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in relief. She knew Arkady saw her as more than a friend, and it didn't help that Pete kept encouraging the guy, but while she liked him well enough, Rose just couldn't. Not now, not yet, maybe not ever, but that was okay, she'd be alright. She pushed those thoughts away as she approached the abandoned factory where Sasha had been investigating. Even as she pulled around behind a grove of trees, deciding to take the front entrance- she noticed the tracks in the dirt. Sasha had gone in here, and yup there was her old beat up blue Mustang. Rose took deep, meditative breaths, sinking into her Torchwood training and preparing herself for whatever was coming both physically and mentally. It was going to be a long night- but anything was better than pretending to be interested in the boring domestic party- right?

Rose parked her car out of sight, and popped the trunk. Then, she removed the perception filter; courtesy of Torchwood, and examined her on-the-go stock of equipment. She didn't really want to go with lethal weapons, never liked to use them as a matter of fact, only had once against a particularly violent psychopathic alien from Venus. Of course, she had no idea if she'd need lethal force, and it would probably be bad if she got trapped in there with no backup and no last-resort weapons. Her stun gun was finicky, worked on some species but not others, and the chemical explosives would knock out some species while doing nothing or enraging others. Also useless without any intel. Rose groaned in frustration, realizing just now how bad this situation was going to get. She could see it now, this would be the night she would die, with nothing but some equipment that could take down a very weak alien or a very strong human, and a ball gown. And then she scolded herself for being melodramatic and focused back on surviving. Just another day on the job.

Rose finally settled on her extremely high-powered electrical pulse gun, which had unsurprisingly been modeled off of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver, if his screwdriver could only release sonic pulses and electrocute things that is, and as an afterthought picked up both a small pistol and a dagger. She slung the holster around her hips, pulled on the new Torchwood armor vest they'd developed to withstand most major blunt force trauma, and strapped the dagger sheath onto her thigh. Finally, as she prepared to head into battle, Rose remembered one last thing. With a reluctant sigh- the golden knee-length slip of a dress really _had_ been gorgeous, she cut a long slit down either side to just below her hips, suddenly extremely grateful that she'd worn black leggings underneath. At least now she could move- and run.

Finally suited up and ready, Rose Tyler looked at the factory with a critical eyes, noticing the suspicious puffs of smoke being released from one of the central chimneys, though the others that ringed around it were cold and empty.

"Looks like somebody's been using the old factory again," Rose whispered to herself before clicking on her earpiece, the closest thing to backup that she had. "Going in now, Arkady," Rose said. He was silent, and Rose thanked him silently for knowing that she preferred to be alone, mentally at least, on missions. Well, she'd only personally shouted at him about a dozen times when they'd first started working together. As she approached the factory doors, bent ajar, she felt her heart pound, beating against her chest and she tried to ignore the strange sensation of despair and fear that was rolling over her. She listened for anything as she walked in slowly, hoping her keen senses could pick up some form of alien activity, Sasha, or any signs of life, but all was eerily silent. Something was very wrong here, and Rose couldn't explain how she knew it. All she knew, as she stepped into the blackness and flipped on the light on the end of her electro-pulser, was that she almost wished she were back at the Christmas party again.

There were zeppelins in the sky, and it was all the Doctor could do to not leap into the air for joy, crying out to the world. Happy, happy, happity happiest was how he felt. Despite the million-in-one chances and the weird energy readings in the TARDIS he was really in the right London. Rose's London, and all he had to do now was find her. The Doctor's heart plummeted again as he considered this next challenge. Where to start. He supposed he could just go to the Vitex Mansion, but what if she didn't want to see him? She said she'd loved him on Bad Wolf Bay, but he had no idea how long it had been for her. She could hate him, she might've moved on. The Doctor hesitated, not knowing if he could stand it if she didn't want to see him. Then a fresh wave of guilt- was he wishing she'd been wasting away in misery without him? Hadn't he told her to live a fantastic life? Rassilon, he didn't deserve her at all.

The Doctor was contemplating going back into his TARDIS- not running, just thinking, when he heard the screams. They echoed across the river, apparent only to his enhanced Time Lord senses. He stiffened and looked around, narrowing his eyes. It had come from… oh there! An abandoned factory, how exciting! As he leapt back into the TARDIS to the console, he ignored her disgruntled, annoyed presence in his mind. How dare she insinuate that he was acting like a teenager scared to tell his crush he liked her. The Doctor viewed himself and Rose as a little past 'liking' thank you very much, but thinking it and telling her were two very different things especially as they hadn't seen each other in who knows how long. And, he was 900, honestly, he'd stopped being a teenager once he hit 700. His ship could be a real annoyance sometimes.

"You're not my mother," he growled, sender her towards the factory. The TARDIS just sent him a wave of affection and a strange sensation that could only be compared to a mental eye roll. The nerve. As the TARDIS rematerialized, the Doctor stepped out- and realized he'd messed up his landing time again. Instead of landing just after the scream, it had happened exactly 20 minutes and 38 seconds ago. He swore, no telling what had happened to the poor sap trapped in this creepy old building. Maybe all those people criticizing his driving had a point; but at least it was 20 minutes and not 12 months… He paused, before heading back to the console to do a- what had Rose called it? Funny how her name didn't hurt so much now that she was within reach. "A scan for alien tech" and whistled softly as he picked up the remnants of an energy wave, a very powerful energy wave shooting off from the factory. It correlated with… the scream from 20 minutes ago. And there was still residue. Must've been some surge. The monitor lit up brightly as the readings shot off the chart again. The TARDIS hummed excitedly, and the Doctor stumbled as she glowed brightly like a sun in his mind.

"That's where you're getting the energy from! Huh, wonder what that surge could be caused by, considering it's compatible with the TARDIS, well old girl, you're happy. Now time to go clean up this mess so we can get Rose. The Doctor stepped out into the silent factory, dark and seemingly abandoned for years. As best he could tell, he was in the back near some maintenance entrance, although the map on the wall indicated he was only a few halls down from the centre room where the energy had originated from labeled containment. He frowned at the notices on the walls as he ran down the halls. Plant closed indefinitely; safety hazards. Wear protective gear at all times. All employees are terminated, must report to main office for completion of confidentiality agreement. What the hell was this place? The Doctor's hearts beat a little faster, and then he turned the corner and came to a door with two very worrying signs. The first was a warning for radiation energy, and the second was the Torchwood logo. Of course, because they couldn't just cause problems in one universe. Even if it appeared they had shut down this plant, there was no telling what damage they'd caused and left here, so now it was up to him to figure it out and fix it. And then he'd find Rose.

"Keep going, another 20 feet, turn right, and you should be almost to the energy reactor room. Rose nodded, listening to Arkady as he guided her towards the place Sasha had disappeared. She rounded the corner and stopped, seeing the robo-santa just outside the door. She pulled out her electro-pulser and approached very slowly, eyes tracking it for any movement. There was none. As she got increasingly close to the robo-santa, her confusion grew, though she kept her electro-pulser raised. She'd expected it to turn and notice her, or at least _move_ by now. As she finally came around the side of the thing she stopped. It's face was melted and its entire front charred.

"Um, Arkady, what did Sasha come out here to investigate? Exactly?" she asked, voice quivering. The line was silent for a moment and then-

"She was following a whole swarm of robo-santas that had congregated on this burst of energy. It was localized in the radiation containment room."

"What kind of factory is- er was this exactly?" she asked, getting a bad feeling between the mazelike halls, deadbolt doors, and now… radiation containment room. "Arkady?" she asked again when the line remained silent, her tone warning him not to mess with her today. Or any day really. She heard him take in a deep breath, obviously steeling himself to answer her.

"It was a nuclear facility officially, but that was just a cover. It was a, uh, Torchwood holding facility."

"And you didn't think I needed to know this?" Rose asked, voice low and dangerous as she examined the melted santa. She didn't want to go any farther until she knew what she was walking into. She could practically hear Arkady wince at her tone.

"Look, I know how you feel about Torchwood's holding aliens and interrogating them and their somewhat darker side of relations…"

"And that's why you should have told me!" she snapped, ignoring his floundering excuses. "Is it an active site?"

"No. It was after the first Cyberman invasion, when Torchwood started up from the Preachers, but before you started working here it got shut down. It was cleared out completely a few months ago, or so we thought. But you don't have clearance for this, you're not supposed to know any of this Rose, I could get fired for telling you. Or worse, did you know they wiped the memories of everyone that worked there Rose?" he sounded frustrated and panicked, but his worry and the plaintive note in his voice just served to infuriate Rose further.

"You're worried about your job? Just shut up. Now is so not the time to be worrying about that. And it's Agent Tyler to you," she hissed, shutting off the comlink before he could protest. She knew, somewhere deep down that he was just worried, and that he hadn't intended to keep information from her, hadn't intended to sound like he valued his job more than Sasha's safety. Or at least she hoped. But right now, she didn't want Torchwood's help covering up the mess they'd probably made themselves anyways. She had all the information she needed right now, and now that she knew what she was looking for, Rose could sense the energy, like a tingling as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She continued down the hallway, finding six more robo-santas, in progressively worse stages of melting as she got closer. The overall feeling of wrongness and the tingling were reinforced, even as she could feel it increasing. It got stronger as she approached a final door labeled in faded letters: "Torchwood- Authorized Personnel only beyond this point. Dangerous radiation Keep Out." Whatever had taken Sasha and wiped out the santas was beyond this door. Rose cracked her knuckles and grinned. This was what she lived for now. Time to go join the party.

**AN- Arkady isn't really a jerk, just a little immature. Poor sap. Anyway, next chapter will be the big confrontation, and I have so much planned it's exciting even me! Of course it's only written in outlines and a single scene so far so it's going to take some work to get it up tomorrow… Anyways, enjoy this and please review it will make me write faster I promise.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN- Oh this chapter was hard, I actually started the next chapter before this one (I rarely write in chronological order, keeping my muse is easier if I skip around to my favorite scenes) so finishing this in time was a challenge, especially because I wasn't really sure what I even wanted to happen. This is definitely an exciting chapter though, so grab a cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate, curl up by the fire this Christmas Eve, read, enjoy, and review!**

**Disclaimer: Again, really? I don't own Doctor Who, but tomorrow is Christmas. If anyone would like to give me an amazing Christmas present, please give me all of the rights to Doctor Who and the ability to bring David Tennant back to the show! Also, I don't own Harry Potter. He belongs to my hero, J.K. Rowling of course.**

The room that Rose entered was a huge, cylindrical room, about 70 feet in diameter and largely empty. The ceiling rose up above her about 20 feet or so, high enough that she couldn't see anything above the much lower, weaker lights that appeared to be running on emergency power. At the very center of the room was the remains of what appeared to have once been a giant glass case, complete with wiring that had connected it to the power and control panel that was along the wall adjacent to her. Technically the control panel had been behind a glass window, but that was now shattered as well. A bluish liquid was pooling around the bottom of the case from where it had been broken, although Rose remarked to herself that it was more likely something had broken_ out_, and some of the blue liquid was dripping down into the crater that lay between her and the other half of the room, its edges backing up to the walls on her half and the glass case in the middle of the room. Around the lip of the crater and scattered within it were what appeared to be over 30 piles of ash, but as Rose approached one and crouched next to it, she recognized it as the remaining endoskeleton of a roasted robo-santa. Despite everything they'd done to her, in this universe and the other, she couldn't help but feel sorry for their apparently very violent deaths. Oh, and as long as she was taking stock of her feelings for the moment, she also felt scared. Very, very terrified of whatever incredibly powerful creature had done this. She peered over the lip of the crater, into its 15 foot depth, which was just deep enough to keep her from getting a good look at the black shape curled up in the center. Probably whatever creature she was looking for, but until she could get the regular power back on and illuminate it beyond the dingy, dim, greenish emergency lights, she wouldn't know what she was dealing with.

Inching very carefully around the edge of the crater and holding her breath when some of the barely-foot-wide ground crumbled away, Rose eventually made it to the broken control room. She looked at the machines for a moment, trying to take stock of the damage from the blast. Surprisingly, the underlying technology looked fairly sound, and so Rose slid herself under the mainframe computer to fiddle with the wiring. The whole system was pretty simple, and it only took her a few minutes- exactly two she noted with pleasure, confirmed by a glance to her watch- to reconnect it to the emergency generators. She'd picked up on engineering and technology modification quickly while in Torchwood, studying it on her own in-between work and the mandatory family time. She was surprised how well she'd taken to the subject, but considering its usefulness in situations like this, was certainly thankful for her newfound technologically inclined skills.

Rose glanced at the crater once more with her hand on the switch to turn the lights on. She hadn't heard or seen anything, and whatever was in the crater hadn't moved. For all she knew, it was already dead. But there was a dread in the pit of her stomach, the sense that something was coming, so she pushed the switch, and bolted over to the side of the crater as the lights turned on a bright, cheery yellow. Her heart broke when she saw the body. It was Sasha, her dark brown hair strewn around her, covering her petite face and olive-green eyes. Rose looked down in pity, one of the most dedicated, kindest Torchwood agents, and then looked around, still unsure of what caused this. She glanced back at Sasha, her eyes catching movement in the pit. She watched carefully for the barest twitch, honing her vision in to catch the rise and fall of her chest and the flick of Sasha's eyelids beneath her hair, the slight twitch of her lip as she grimaced. She was alive, and Rose needed to help her, so she ignored the almost panicked race of her heart and nauseous unease as she leaned over the edge of the crater and slid down. She turned the com back on and crouched beside Sasha, afraid to move her for fear of injury, just looking her over.

"Found her, no she looks a little battered, but mostly allright. She's unconscious though, I'm going to try to revive her in a moment. No sign of whatever did this to her. It took out the robo-santas though. Maybe just an energy surge from some leftover Torchwood equipment that exploded," Rose said, trying to reassure herself as much as Arkady, though she knew, somehow, even as she said it that she was wrong. She pushed away her worries and turned her attention back to Sasha. She must've fallen in after the explosion, because she never would have survived whatever fiery blast had caused it, and she really didn't look too injured. Some minor scrapes and burns on her exposed hands and arms, and a strange cut on her forehead that looked remarkably like the lightning bolt scar from her favorite book series. Probably from the fall, Rose smiled slightly when she realized how excited Sasha was going to be about having a scar that matched Harry's. She reached out to touch Sasha, but before her hand even touched her, she was met with a painful shock and Sasha's eyes snapped open- except that they were pure white.

"Rose? Don't touch me! You need to get out, I can't… it's… no!" Sasha shrieked as Rose reached out to her. Rose shuddered at her blank, glassy eyes. How was Sasha even seeing her? A little wisp of whitish energy drifted off of Sasha's arm, and then coiled back into her deeply tan skin as Rose watched in horro.

"Sasha what happened? We can help, whatever did this to you we can fix it," Rose broke off, wondering if she was making false promises. She didn't even know what had happened to her friend, and Sasha's face was distraught as she shook her head, brown hair full of dirt and flinging around her face.

"You can't it _is_ me, it's part- inside me I can't control it you need to LEAVE," she said, her voice vibrating with a sort of static echo. Rose crouched beside her, not touching, just whispering softly, trying to reassure her that she was going to be alright. That she wasn't alone.

"What do you mean? Was it," Rose's voice trembled and she swallowed, "did you do this?" Rose looked around at the destruction and still couldn't understand what had happened. Sasha didn't do all this on her own.

"It was trapped, it was dying, I was dying. I didn't want to leave it-me there, here, alone. But when the glass broke it-I was dying and then it was me and now we are I," Sasha broke off, still mumbling to herself, curling into a ball and whispering about darkness, loneliness, and abuse. Rose felt sick, whatever creature Torchwood had left here was inside Sasha somehow, and it was powerful and utterly mad after so long inside a glass case. And now it was controlling, at least partially, Sasha's mind.

"We can help you, but you need to leave Sasha alone, we won't let you die but we can't help if you kill her. Whatever you're doing it's hurting her," Rose said firmly, though a pleading note slipped into her voice as she tried to communicate with whatever it was. Sasha's face was suddenly contorted with pain and fury at the same time. It was unsettling to see on her friend's face, and Rose took a step back.

"You do not see! I _am_ Sasha, my mind, my body. You would take that away? The old Source is dead, but now her mind is mine and there never was an outside mind and my-our-my energy is in this body. We are symbiosis and evolved and one," Sasha sputtered, her words so convoluted Rose could hardly make sense of it. Whatever this was, it wasn't like anything she'd ever seen before. The thing wasn't controlling her, it honestly seemed like their minds had been completely combined. But the combination had obviously driven it mad, and as Rose watched another swirl of energy drifted of Sasha's body like a solar flare before snapping back within. It was then that she realized it might be dangerously out of control over itself. She knew what Torchwood would have her do- take it out now while it was still weak, but Rose took one look at the miserable, tear-streaked face of her friend and knew that she couldn't. Whatever the risk, she had to try to save her.

"Sasha?" she questioned gently, relieved when she nodded her head in recognition. Maybe there was still something left to save. "What did you do to cause this? I am afraid you're going to hurt yourself, okay?" her face got tight and Rose could see the energy swirls drifting out with more purpose. She quickly backtracked and searched for something else to say, "I just want you to focus on your breathing and staying calm and controlling it. That's right, in and out, in and out," she just hoped her hunch was right, and as Sasha breathed in deeply, the surges of energy retreated underneath her skin. A smile even spread across Sasha's face.

"The pain has faded," and Rose shared a grin with Sasha, who looked quite a bit more cheerful, and wondered what she was going to do next- she hadn't thought very far ahead of getting Sasha to calm down and control her symbiotic alien powers or whatever. And then the plan all went to hell as everything fell apart.

"Rose, what did Sasha do? Nothing you've been saying makes any sense, do I need to call in backup? If you need it I can send a containment unit out there, is she secured?" Arkady's voice rang in her ear, and Rose swore. She'd forgotten to turn off her comlink, and Arkady had heard everything. The last thing she wanted was Torchwood coming in to 'secure' Sasha and lock her up- or worse. Rose instinctively knew that whatever had happened to her was not going to be reparable b force and was probably impossible to reverse. She just needed more time to figure out what to do, and hoped that Arkady trusted her as much as she thought he did.

"No, we're fine. I'm going to help her, everything's fine, it's just going to be us alone for a while. Nice and quiet," she said softly, giving Arkady her code for 'everything's okay, don't need any other agents and leave me alone please and thank you' while trying to keep Sasha calm. She turned off the com again, and feeling the hair on the back of her neck rise again looked up to see Sasha's eyes open again and flickering with light, face twisted in fury. Around her swirled tongues of crackling energy, like a cross between lightning and a solar flare. Oh, this was bad, so very, very bad.

"You betray me- he is to send in others- you're capturing me again. Don't put me back in the strange chamber- pulling and pushing my body, my energy fading and dying, twisted- I can see betternow," its tone changed, becoming steadier and taking on wonder. the swirling storm forming around Sasha's body didn't fade however, energy leaking out of her body, then pulling back in. "I am Sasha, what I was is gone. Rose, you were my friend, are you going to lock me back up? Please don't, not again," she pleaded, looking at Rose, reaching out before pulling back, trembling. Rose was scared, but she could sense the pain and fear in her friend, and had to help her.

"No, Sasha, I won't let them take you." She pulled off her weapons belt, and threw it to the side, knowing this was probably an incredibly bad move. But she knew that Sasha wouldn't hurt her, and she needed her to trust her, to calm back down. "See? No weapons. I told him to go away. Do you remember Arkady? He's worried about you. Just breathe, Sasha, it's going to be alright." Sasha gave her a smile, her face relaxing a moment before she suddenly gritted her teeth. Rose winced, sensing Sasha's pain- how she had no idea, but there was no time to swell on it. She could distantly feel the power rolling off of her friend, just barely restrained within the bounds of her body, and she had just enough warning to duck away, curled onto her side as with a final scream Sasha exploded- at least that's what it looked and felt like.

Sasha's body was engulfed in crackling, glowing, pulsing white, and whirling tentacles of energy lashed out around her. There was no way to reach her, Rose could feel Sasha's mind fragmenting under the onslaught of energy. She wasn't doing this at all, she couldn't control it, couldn't stop it, there was nothing to do and no way to save her. There was also no time to grieve her. As another energy tentacle swung past her head, Rose ran for the walls of the pit, grabbed her weapons belt, and hastily scrambled up the side. She was pressed against the wall, the lights flickering between the emergency green and bright white when she heard- somehow, amazingly, above the crackling zapping din and Sasha's weeping and screaming, another door open, across the pit and behind the glass case. Whoever it was, she couldn't see them, between the broken glass, wires, and flickering lights, but Rose just closed her eyes and prayed they'd get out before they got killed too.

"What do we have here, strange energy monster- check." The voice was so familiar, but so soft and barely audible that Rose was sure she was hallucinating. She choked a little bit anyways and opened her eyes, straining to see the shape standing almost 50 feet away. It might be… but with the lights now dimming steadily she couldn't be sure.

"Doctor?" Rose cried out, heart in her throat, hope- she couldn't even describe it. She waited, and waited…

"Is that you Rose?" the form ran up to the edge of the pit and she could see him, in a blue suit instead of a brown coat, but there. How had he even gotten here- never mind that now. He was, and all that separated them was a pit with a raging, mad, out of control energy monster that just happened to be Rose's best friend. Typical. She let out a strangled sound of relief, something between a laugh and a sob. His face lit up, though it was still lined with worry. "Should've know; weird energy surges, screams, you'd be here of course. Jeopardy friendly still, I see." Rose did laugh then, hugging the wall as if it were him. She looked at the wall on either side of her, the floor already crumbling away under the pulsating blasts rolling off of Sasha. There was no way for her to reach him, but at least he was here now, and if anyone could fix this it was him.

"It's my friend, Sasha- that woman down there," Rose pointed and winced as another blast of energy-tendrils whirled out of her, taking out the control room in an explosive display of sparks before receding. The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Admirable taste in friends, I see." Rose rolled her eyes, despite the life-or-death situation. G-d it was like they'd never been apart.

"She was sent here by Torchwood, she's an agent too, to check on an energy surge. Turns out this old hholding facility still had something locked up in that, er, glass container and it was dying, and best I can get from what she told me is the creature sort of melded with her. There minds are the same, but it-she can't control her own power. I want to help her, but I don't even know what happened!" Rose called out to him, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. She just wanted to seem strong for him.

The Doctor had already started running his sonic screwdriver- she'd missed that thing so much- over the containment device and was murmuring things she could barely hear- shouldn't be able to hear in fact, not with the distance and the noise, but she could nonetheless. Something about neutral energy, and magnetism, and then he suddenly jumped up excitedly, waving as if to ensure he had her attention before shouting across the pit to her.

"It's a Koricallan energy wyrm! They are a being of living energy, they're peaceful in their home planet but they don't fare very well outside that environment. They're positively charged energy, and their whole planet and atmosphere is positively charged too. Otherwise they wouldn't survive. Here, with all the negatively charged particles, she's been drawing in and pulled towards the energy all around her. It's stretching her out, undoing her own molecular structure, and driving her mad. And she's puling in energy subconsciously to try to make up for the deficit. The wyrm must've been pulled into Sasha's mind by the electrical impulses of her brainwaves, starved after so long in a forcibly neutral containment cell. Now, their energy is so highly entwined, it would be impossible to undo. She's going to keep pulling in energy until she destroys herself. I'm so, so sorry," the Doctor looked at her, pain and loss evident on his face, and Rose knew he was apologizing for more than Sasha's death. But this one, this loss wasn't on him. This one was all her fault, Sasha was under her command after all.

Rose felt tears well up in her eyes. Sasha didn't deserve any of this. She hadn't even wanted to be a field agent, preferring the analytical side of Torchwood. And the alien wasn't even hostile, just trapped in a world that was destroying it, unknowingly latching onto the one thing that could try to save it. It was like her, and Sasha was going to die because of both the alien and her.

"But she was controlling it, she was calm and fine until…" Rose broke off, unable to keep going.

"Her mind was calm enough to contain the electrical fluctuations at first, but once her adrenaline and hormones spiked, the energy slipped out and now it's beyond even her reach." His tone was despondent, and Rose caught a glimpse of the man he had been for the past months, but who knew, really, how long it had been for him. She wondered what had happened to him, and then her attention was drawn back to the pit as Sasha screamed, her voice sending out a blast of energy that made Rose lose her balance and slide violently into the crater to land beside Sasha once more. Holding her head and ignoring the burning in her arm, Rose could hear the Doctor's panicked voice, asking if she was okay, but Rose could only focus on her friend in front of her. Sasha's blank eyes were fixed on her own, and in their swirling depths, Rose could see and feel the regret and pain her friend was feeling. As she sat there, the energy building around them, Rose could hear Sasha's voice in her mind, though her lips didn't move.

_I can't control it, Rose you need to leave you're too close. It's going to kill me, and there's nothing you could have done to save me. Please, the next surge will kill us both, you need to move._ The voice was reaching a fevered pitch, but Rose's eyes were blinking shut, her head fuzzy, and the energy around her swirling through her mind, making her thoughts fuzzy. There was the sound of rocks tumbling down behind her, and Rose felt strong hands loop around her body, pulling her towards the edge of the crater. She continued to stare at Sasha, unaware of anything else, her vision blackening. She could see a white ball glowing within her friend's chest, feel it burning as if it were her own, and then, as she was pulled up towards the edge of the crater, Sasha gave a last cry _I'm sorry Rose!_ before the white light flashed out into a thousand lightning bolts and Sasha was gone. As the streak of white light struck Rose in the chest, she screamed, the heat boiling in her veins, frying her mind, the distant sensations she had been picking up from Sasha nothing compared to this pain. And then the feel of her limbs faded, and her heart stopped, and all went black.

The Doctor finally succeeded in pulling Rose up over the edge of the crater, and he immediately leaned over her, his hearts beating far too fast as he tried to take stock of the damage. She was badly injured, but how, he wasn't sure. He quickly scanned her with the sonic, and nearly broke into a million pieces at the results. Her cells were dying, every part of her body shutting down as the electricity- stronger than a lightning strike, ran through her and destroyed her. Her heart had stopped. Not now, not after everything. He'd been given another chance, to come here, to find her, the universe couldn't take this away from her. It couldn't take _her_ away. The Doctor turned his sonic onto the electrical pulse setting, charging it up and then sparking her heart with it, willing it to beat on its own again.

"No, don't take her from me, please," he whispered, pumping her chest with his hands, knowing it was futile, as he could feel her cold skin and hear the silence where her heart should have been beating. It had already taken her. They'd found each other, only for him to lose her before he could even tell her, finish that sentence that he'd never gotten to on Bad Wolf Bay, and now he never would be able to. At last, he let his hands slip from her neck, where he was trying to feel a pulse that wasn't there, and he simply fell to the ground beside her, wrapping his arms around her and letting the tears fall into her blonde hair. His pink-and-yellow-human was gone.

**AN- Oh I know I'm cruel. *Ducks flying tomatoes and a sonic screwdriver set to self-destruct* Yes, I am doing another cliffhanger, and no it is not to get people to read the next chapter although I won't complain if that's an aftereffect, but as I wrote this, this ending sort of just happened, and I had to cut it off here. Don't worry, there **_**is**_** a next chapter, it's not over, and hopefully I don't take too long to update- should either be tomorrow or the day after. This chapter went through 6 different possible outcomes, and took over 5 hours to write. It is literally the longest chapter I've ever written. (I'm so proud of it.) First, I was just going to do a vague alien, then I came up with the energy monster, then Sasha getting possessed, and finally the one I went with which was the symbiosis combined Energy-Sasha. It was fun to write, until the last few paragraphs. Please just hold on and don't throw things at me until you read next chapter. Give me a chance to redeem myself! Oh and review. Even if it's to tell me you hate me right now.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- Ok, don't worry I won't leave you guys hanging for very long! Jumping right into it, here's the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.**

The TARDIS raged, howling in fury. Her Wolf was slipping away, and her Thief could do nothing. The energy buried beneath her Wolf's surface wasn't enough, it had simmered and built over the months, but its change was incomplete, stunted. The TARDIS pulled at the thread of her timelines, watching its gold flicker. This would not stand. Her Thief needed her. The TARDIS needed her.

Her Wolf did not have the energy to save herself, but she had enough to anchor the TARDIS to her life force. There was still power swirling through the air, left over by the tragic Lightning Girl. That one was already gone. The TARDIS could use that though, there was plenty for her purpose. Rose had looked into the TARDIS once before, and now it was Time that the second promise be fulfilled. The TARDIS looked into her.

The Doctor lay with his head buried in the crook of her neck, her skin cool- too cool against his. She still smelled like Rose. He couldn't sit up just yet, couldn't see her lifeless eyes, sunken skin. If he just sat here, breathing in her scent, only one more moment longer, he could pretend she was still alive, that one of his heartbeats was hers. And so he stayed, curled up on the ground beside Rose Tyler's still body, burying himself in her. And so he missed the golden shimmer that drifted into her mouth. And Rose Tyler breathed again.

It was dark, everything, and she couldn't feel, couldn't breathe. If this was death, Rose thought with a frown- could she even frown when she was trapped in nothingness- it was going to be a very long, boring, lonely eternity. And then she screamed out, though she couldn't hear her voice. He had _been_ there, she'd seen him when she thought they never could again. And then they'd been so close, and he tried to reach out, to save her, and then she was gone. Why then? Why couldn't she die without him having to witness it? The Doctor had seen her, and she knew by the look on his face that he'd experienced the same bliss and excitement she had, and then the universe had torn them apart again. And Rose knew that if he hadn't blamed himself before, for trapping her here, he would undoubtedly blame himself for her death.

Death, that was a funny term. She didn't feel dead, didn't feel anything really. Wasn't something supposed to happen next? She could sort of distantly_ feel_ again, her body was too still, she could sense it in the barest of terms. Then golden light filled her mind along with a voice singing. And then she burned.

Her mind was on fire, everything was burning, but the voice soothed her, blending with the voice that had been singing quietly in her mind for months. She thought she'd been going crazy, pushed it away before, but now it swelled within her, and wrapped around her like a corporeal hug, an echo that she remembered suddenly. It grew to shield her from the burning pain through everything, her body, her chest, her mind, her very being. Fire was coursing through her skin, her veins, her soul. If she had doubts about dying before, she was very sure she was doing it now. Nothing could survive this pain. And then suddenly, with a last explosion of gold and pain and _feeling_ she was free. Her heart was pounding hard and fast, it's beat echoing throughout both sides of her chest- too fast, was she having a heart attack? After a moment of listening to it's beat, reassuring her, she realized she was alive again. A few seconds later she breathed in. And then she opened her eyes.

The Doctor stiffened as he felt a slight movement, heard the sound of a heartbeat that couldn't be there. Now he was well and truly going mad, he always knew it would happen someday. As he felt something, no some_one_ else in his mind, his fears of insanity were confirmed. There were no other Time Lords, and now there wasn't even a Rose, and his broken mind and broken hearts were mimicking the sensation of someone else just to make him feel better. Well it didn't. Before he lost it completely, he had to… to… lay Rose to rest. Take her home to her family. Arrange her funeral. Stay for the goodbye he never even got to say. This time, he couldn't run, he could never run far enough or fast enough to escape this.

He gave a strangled sob, thinking of Jackie; he was _not_ looking forward to seeing his reaction. Although, it would be refreshing to see someone who would blame him as much as he deserved. He wouldn't even feel her inevitable slap. It was nothing compared to the feeling of his hearts being torn from his body, electrocuted, stomped on, revived and returned to him in a shattered mess.

The moment of losing himself in the illusion that Rose was still alive beside him was gone, and he had to… well he had to do something anyway. So the Doctor sat up, eyes still closed so he didn't have to look at her, and took a deep breath to prepare himself-ha! As if he could have ever prepared himself to take care of Rose's _body_, then he slowly opened his eyes. He was met with the impossible (but then again that word never really seemed to apply to them) sight of an unfamiliar auburn-haired, turquoise-eyed girl who bore an incredibly strong resemblance in facial structure to the woman he had just lost. She blinked once, twice, and then closed her eyes and coughed out a puff of golden dust that she didn't seem to notice, as she still looked quite disoriented.

"Doctor?"

"Who are you?" he asked, confused. Rose was gone, and this stranger was here, and his brain, normally thinking a mile a minute had just stopped. As had his lungs. Her face was utterly perplexed and she looked crushed.

"It's me Doctor, why don't you… I didn't die Doctor, I'm here, right?" the woman said in a voice that he suddenly recognized, although her accent was a little smoother. But she couldn't be…

"Rose?" he croaked, his throat still hoarse from crying and his face unashamedly streaked with tears. She was human and dead and humans didn't regenerate and… impulsively, he reached out his hands, one on each side of her chest, and his eyes widened. She was still looking at him, beautiful blue-green eyes widening in confusion.

"Who else would I be and what's going on?" He just smiled, beyond hope, and the feel that suddenly his life had gone right for once. Today was one of those days: everybody lives. His thoughts flashed briefly to the woman whose body was still in the crater, and he felt a flash of pity- well maybe not everyone. But she had killed Rose, and Rose was here now, and it was all alright. Rose smiled up at him, though she still looked perplexed, her smile was still the same, than, Rassilon, and he pushed thoughts of her to the back of his mind. He took one of Rose's hands in his and pressed it to the right side of her chest. Her eyes widened.

"But I, that's …." Her voice grew quiet. "Two hearts?" she asked softly, and then watched in horror as her beautiful eyes filled with tears. Oh no, she didn't want this, she was going to watch her family wither and die just like him, he'd cursed her, she wasn't even human naymore, and he had destroyed her life- although the Doctor reflected that she should at least be thankful to be alive, but he pushed that thought away almost immediately, chiding himself. Rude and not ginger. But _she _was ginger, he thought with a brief pang of jealousy. Lucky, first time too. And then Rose made all of his worries and thoughts face as she launched herself into his arms.

"I missed you. And I'm alive. And I… I'm a Time Lord?" she asked hesitantly, and then her face screwed up in thought. The Doctor looked at the freckles now lightly draped across her nose, at the worry that shone in her face, and hoped his answer would be reassuring and not terrifying.

"Yes. Is that okay? Beacause I'm not really sure how it happened and I don't think I can undo it and oh Rose I love you." He froze as the words just slipped out, but Rose had nuzzled into his chest again and didn't seem to notice.

"Of course it's okay, it's amazing! I'm going to live as long as you, you'll never have to be alone. I hope that's okay, I mean I don't want to burden you with me forever and- wait what did you say?" she pulled away to stare him in the eye, hope and wonder on her face.

"I was just finishing something that was interrupted a long time ago," he said breathlessly, not sure how he'd found the words. Rose fixed him with a glare. Oh she was going to make him do it again.

"Doctor, I said I loved you, and I _might've _just heard you repeat that sentiment, but you just crossed over here from a parallel universe- I want to know how you did that later by the way- I just died, and you are going to finish that sentence, loud and clear for me, 'cause I am _not_ going to go through any more time with your jumbled up words and emotions." She took a deep breath as if she were about to go on, but he quickly cut in.

"Rose Tyler, I love you," he finished, and then in an instant her mouth was on his, those pink lips he'd wanted so much to feel opening to his probing tongue, deepening their kiss until they were lost in one another and time stopped for both of them. Despite being Time Lords, neither knew how long it had been when they finally broke apart, foreheads pressed together, cheeks flushed, Rose's hands still tangled in his hair. She let out a giggle, and he pulled her in again. The sweet yet passionate embrace, as he felt heat flood his body, soothing his worries, wounds, and in that moment, with Rose pressed against him, he felt whole, for the first time in centuries. She pulled away, and he whimpered, not caring how unmanly it sounded.

"Doctor what about Sasha?" Rose asked worriedly, looking towards the crater. He hesitated, not wanting their moment to end in sadness once again, but Rose was already standing up, grasping his hand and pulling him along with her. At the edge of the crater, she looked down at the body- not much left of her friend, who had been fried by her own power. Tears welled up in her eyes. It wasn't her fault Sasha had been here, she knew, but she still felt there should have been some way to save her. She just hadn't deserved to die so young. Rose felt the Doctor's arms close around her, and she leaned into him. He understood, and he didn't say anything.

"She was my best mate here. Not many people liked rich heiress Rose Tyler when she got a job at Torchwood just 'cause of her father's connections. Didn't matter how many times I saved their arses, Sasha was the first one to come to lunch with me. Her, Arkady and me, we were team. But she's gone now. I have to call Torchwood, tell them she's here. Arkady's going to be crushed: they've been best mates since university. I kept telling him to ask her out, now he's never going to get the chance," Rose broke off, her throat closing up again. She couldn't deal with all of this now. Not just yet. So when the Doctor pulled her back around, chocolate eyes burning with sadness and understanding and something else- _passion_, Rose leaned into him and lost herself in the feel of their lips together once more. Finally, they broke apart, and Rose looked at her hands clasped in his, and noticed their distinctly smooth, pale skin, and lack of scars and bruises from her adventures falling in and out of the crater. Oh. Regeneration.

She looked down at herself in surprise, as if just realizing she was different. She was slimmer, and just a hair taller. With longer legs and a willowy grace about her that hadn't been there before. "And what do I look like?"

"Beautiful," he replied immediately, grinning cheekily. Rose glared at him, and his grin widened. Her glares looked even cuter with her delicate nose scrunched up.

"That's not exactly the description I was looking for," she sighed, and then tugged some of her hair in front of her eyes to look at it, her eyes widening in surprise. "Ha! Ginger, bet you're jealous now," she said with a grin, reaching up to tousle his already rumpled brown hair. He huffed.

"It isn't fair. I've waited centuries for ginger hair, and ten regenerations, and you just get your first one and then BAM! You're ginger." Rose was giving him a funny look, and he frowned at her in concern. "What?"

"It's just… ten regenerations?" she said softly, he looked back in confusion, and nodded. Rose wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "That hurt. Coming back. And you've done it ten times. Oh Doctor, I'm sorry for making you regenerate on Game Station." His breath stilled, she shouldn't remember that at all. But the pained look on her face told him she did. "I just remembered it, when I er- regenerated. I remember all of it, since I guess now my brain is big enough to hold it without burning. And Doctor… you didn't take all of the vortex out of me. Some of it… I think some of it was still there and that's how this happened," she broke off to cough out a puff of golden dust, and then watched it dissipate in amusement. He looked at her in concern. Regenerations didn't always go this smoothly, he especially remembered his own last, disastrous regeneration, and while she didn't seem to have any lingering regeneration sickness, he'd really like to get her back to the TARDIS for some scans, just to confirm it and make sure she really was okay.

"You feeling alright Rose?" he asked in concern. She looked thoughtful a moment, and then nodded.

"Yeah. Not even a headache. I've had a sort of funny, constant headache for the last few months, although whether that's from overworking myself, sleeping two hours a night, or, now that I think about it, some vortex left over, I'm not sure," she said nonchalantly, and then her eyes widened with a smile. "Um, I think that we should go figure out how this happened, because I've got some theories of my own." And with that, the Doctor was utterly stunned as Rose proceeded to drag him along by the hand, striding confidently in the direction of the TARDIS. This was certainly going to take some getting used to, in a good way. In a _very_ good way.

As they approached the TARDIS, Rose's face split into a huge, tongue-in-teeth grin, and the Doctor was chastened to realize it wasn't directed at him, but at his ship. He was jealous of a ship, a sentient one, sure: but it was still pathetic. She lay one hand against the door and closed her eyes with a soft smile, and the Doctor couldn't help but love her even more at that. He nudged past Rose to open the door, and as soon as the door was open, Rose pulled her hand out of his and ran in with a squeal of joy, the Doctor strolling in after her, amused smile plain on his face.

Rose could hear her in her mind, the TARDIS, singing to her and speaking in a myriad of colors and sounds and emotions. The hum that had always been there was now a full fledged bond and it felt like being welcomed home by a mother, best friend, and sister all at once. Rose ran up to the console and stroked her hand along it, listening to the TARDIS welcome her back, relief that her Wolf- Rose giggled a little at the TARDIS' name for her. Then she blinked as she felt the TARDIS' pleasure that her plan had worked, and as Rose tried poking her with her mind, seeing how well the communication worked both ways, she asked the TARDIS how this had happened. Her response was a jumble of images and emotions, but Rose's new, bigger, and fairly empty mind made quick work of it. Rose turned to the Doctor, eyes shining. She wanted him to hear this too.

"It was Bad Wolf." Rose saw the Doctor's eyes darken with fear at that, and she rushed on before he could comment, "She- the TARDIS, that is- said that there was some left, and the vortex energy was slowly changing my cells into a Time Lord anyway. But being away from her, and the different energy of this universe was blocking it, so I was only I guess halfway there?" Rose tried to decipher the TARDIS' comment on that, and gave up. Something about the length of time it should have taken. It didn't matter now anyways. "That's why I wasn't sleeping and didn't get cold and had better eyesight and hearing and could understand sciency things and all that technology and oh!" Rose's eyes widened, comprehension dawning on her face as she thought back to Sasha's last moments. "That's why I could hear her thoughts. Once the TARDIS arrived, the process was jump started and my telepathy started to develop!"

The Doctor was stunned, speechless, and Rose felt smug at the thought that she'd made the usually overbearingly chatty Time Lord tongue-tied. He was grinning, and then he ran up to her and whirled her around in his arms, like they'd done on Krop-Tor, like she'd wished to be held for the past seven months here..

"This is fantastic Rose!" She grinned back at him, tongue-in-teeth and eyes glowing happily, only to see his face fall. She groaned internally, knowing what was coming next. Stupid, daft alien with a guilt complex: although she couldn't really go on calling him an alien if she was too… but she'd think about that later. And then he addressed the issue she'd known was coming. So maybe it couldn't be pushed off till later. "But… your life here, I've made you lose all of it. I mean, I don't know if you even want to come with me. Jackie's here, and Pete and your little sibling if they've been born yet, and…" he trailed off, a sudden realization striking them both at the same time. Rose said it first.

"How long, Doctor?" she asked quietly. The bolt of pain across his face said enough, even before he answered.

"Too long. About...five months," Rose's face crumpled. He hadn't been alone as long as she'd feared, but it still hurt, and it was a painful realization that she'd been without him for longer than he had her.

"Seven for me. Not too far off right?" She said with a sad smile. He tugged her into his chest again, and she breathed in his scent, now realizing she could smell the Time on him, although she couldn't say what it exactly smelt like, besides _home_. "Did you… did you travel with anyone else?" Rose didn't want him to be alone all this time, but somehow, the idea of him picking up another companion, _replacing_ her in a way, hurt. He took in a sharp breath, and she realized she'd been broadcasting her thoughts. She was going to need his help to work on that.

"Well, one lady appeared in the TARDIS 'bout a minute after I said goodbye to you on Bad Wolf Bay," Rose stiffened in his arms, and he rubbed her back soothingly. "She just appeared, Donna Noble was her name. She'd been dosed with huon particles, and since they're inside the heart of the TARDIS, and she had so many inside of her, they sort of reacted and drew her in, all the way from her wedding. She was awfully mad that I had 'kidnapped' her on her wedding day. As she was walking down the aisle in fact. Turns out her fiancé was working for an alien race called the Racnoss, and… ah we'll have time for that later. Anyways, she didn't want to travel with me, said I scared her, and so I was on my own for… well many months. And then there was a hospital that got sucked up to the moon by a Judoon platoon, and this medical student Martha Jones helped me save the Earth from a plasmavore. She traveled with me for just two trips- one forward and one back, and then went to visit her family. I'd just asked her to stay on long-term when I found the Bridge to come here. But no one… no one's like you Rose. Actually, I'm the only one like you now," he said with a laugh. Rose relaxed into his arms, smiling. She'd been silly to think he'd replaced her. They were the only ones for each other.

"So where's Martha now? And how'd you get here anyways?" Rose asked, leaning back to look at him, arms still wrapped around one another. She think they both felt it, that if they let go they'd fade away again. Whatever happened, they had to stay together. The Doctor ran a hand through his hair, looking a bit sheepish.

"Well, she's visiting her family right now, they sort of got caught up in a human-mutation-gone wrong when some guy named Lazarus tried to reverse his age and ended up destabilizing his DNA and attacking a gala. Her Mum hates me by the way, I got slapped by her too." He broke off as Rose giggled, and looked affronted. She just waved him on. "And there was a Bridge in the sky, it's an old Time Lord thing, a natural rift between universes, they only happen every few millennia, so rarely they're almost a myth, when two universes bump together. Perfectly safe way to travel between them. And these two universes have had so much contact recently, it's logical that they'd start to bump more often, even with all of the artificial tears repaired. The Bridge is very pretty, looks a bit like a comet, except longer lasting and more colorful. Stays open for 24 hours in fact, we've still got… 17 to go." The Doctor broke off at the incredulous look on Rose's face. She started laughing and couldn't stop, and she didn't care if he thought she'd lost it completely. "Rose? Are you alright?"

"It's just… I saw that comet- er Bridge thingy. I wished on it, I wished for you, and forever, and now I have both. Maybe it really _does_ work to wish on!" she grinned, and burst into giggles again, and it was only a moment before he joined her, the two of them falling into one another's arms as they laughed away all of the darkness and loneliness that had dodged their hearts and minds for the months apart. When they finally got control of themselves once more, Rose sighed. There were a few things they had to do, more than a few in fact.

"Doctor, I'm coming with you, right?" She looked up for confirmation, even after everything they'd gone through, even after he said he loved her, their relationship was so convoluted she still feared he'd leave her. But the possessive, protective glint in his eyes soothed her.

"Always, as long as you want to of course." She sighed in relief.

"Then I need to clean up some loose ends. I work for Torchwood. If I just disappear from this universe they're going to notice. And I can't exactly walk in and say "hey I'm an alien now, going to swan off with my alien boyfriend to another universe now!" They'd dissect us both and probably blow another hole open between the universes, Pete Tyler's daughter or not. So… I have to have a cover story. I have to die, officially that is." Rose's voice was final, and the words hurt. She didn't have many friends here, not many would mourn her, but it was still… painful to know that she had now 'died' in two universes. The Doctor understood, she could feel it, on the edge of her consciousness and in her mind, and he held her a little tighter.

"I know. I can send out a last message from your com, mimic the signal, and leave trace DNA in the crater if you'd like. The official records will say that Sasha exploded and nearly went nuclear, incinerating… well, you, and that you both died in action," he said, watching her reaction. Rose sniffled a bit, but nodded. It was a good way to die at least. The Doctor led her over to the console and started fiddling with the controls, finding the Torchwood frequency and using Rose's password- he chuckled darkly at it, to gain access to her com. He gestured for Rose to approach the monitor and give her good-bye speech. Rose's eyes filled with tears, but she was suddenly struck with a memory, she could see it in her mind and knew it was from him, of him standing in this same spot and recording something. _Emergency program one. Goodbye to Rose._ She looked up at him, there weren't any words, but she knew he could feel what she was thinking, her gratitude for that, for the strength it had taken him to create that recording and the strength he felt she had. She nodded, and slipped her hand into his once more. They still fit perfectly.

"I'm ready." The com clicked on, and Rose took a deep breath. "Arkady? It's Rose," she paused, her voice choking up, shaking and trembling as if she really were an instant from death. At least she had the feeling down.

"Rose? What's wrong? I thought you said Sasha was fine and you were going to be ok? Should I call in backup." She sniffled again, unable to hold it back at his worry for her. She'd never love him, that place in her heart was reserved for the Doctor, but he had been a great friend these last few months, and in another life, things might have been different. And now he'd lose both Sasha and her in the same day.

"Look, she's her power is overloading. I'm trapped under some debris, and she's going to blow in a moment. There's no way out. I'm…. this is goodbye Arkady. From both of us." She looked up, meeting the Doctor's eyes, needing to see his belief in her for the strength to go on. And so she did. "Just… tell my Mum and Dad I love them. And don't let Sasha be forgotten. Make Torchwood a better organization and… have a fantastic life. I'm sorry." Rose burst into tears, she couldn't go on, and ignoring the panicked voice on the other end of the com, Rose turned away as the Doctor used his sonic to imitate the sound of an explosion and the com went dead. It was a long time before she could talk again, even with the Doctor touching her mind softly, sending reassurance as best he could, that everything would be okay. Rose looked up at him after a time, three and a half minutes, she noted with a wry smile at her new sense of time, and took in a deep breath. Her disappearance from this world was covered, and all that was left was to plant the evidence and leave the universe she never belonged in in the first place.

"Are you alright? I don't want to leave you here, but I need to go plant that DNA, and I don't suppose you really want to go back there…" the Doctor said hesitantly. Rose shook her head, still unable to speak. He rested a hand on her cheek, briefly, before dipping his head to give her a soft, chaste kiss on her lips and then turned to the door. Just before he left, he gave her a stern look, "Just once, just this once, don't wander off. I will be right back." And then he was gone.

Rose plopped herself down on the jumpseat, and dropped her head into her hands. She was tired, more exhausted than she'd ever been, and she supposed it had to do with her regeneration. She knew the Bridge wouldn't stay open forever, and was pretty sure that even in the TARDIS, they couldn't extend the time they had here. As much as she wanted to sleep, there were still things she had to do- like say goodbye to Mum, and Dad, and Mickey. She didn't know how they'd react to any of it- her dying, regenerating, becoming a Time Lord, or leaving. She was pretty sure any reaction by her Mum would involve slapping the Doctor, and she winced on his behalf. True to his word, the Doctor flew back into the TARDIS just then, panting as if he'd run the entire way. A minute and a half since he'd left. He probably had.

"So Rose Tyler, where to next? We have all of time and space at our fingertips, and Shiver and Shake are back together again!" She smiled weakly at the joke, but there were other things on her mind.

"One last thing. We've got to go tell my mum."

**AN- See? I told you I'd have it up soon, and that it would make you happy. I worked extremely hard on this, and wrote this very long chapter in only… 3, maybe 4 hours? This is what reviews do people! I love all of you who reviewed last chapter, and I am proud that it managed to make you react so strongly (even if mostly it was cause you hated me a little bit there.) But it's all fixed now, and all that's left is Jackie's reaction and Rose and the Doctor's sendoff. A nice little epilogue to bring this story to a close. Please let me know how this chapter went, it was quite difficult, and I don't feel like it was my best quality because of the extreme emotions, backstory, explanations, and rushing. I might go back and re-write it later, I'll let you all know if I do. Anyway, review, and enjoy until next time, I'll probably update tomorrow or the day after. Merry Christmas!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN- We have finally come to the end of my Christmas Special, this was a rapid-fire blast to write, and I am amazed at how many reviews this little fic has gotten! 15 reviews! I would like to thank all of you, especially those who have become regulars, *shoutouts* MirrorFlower and DarkWind, Dreamcatcher49, and Toester. You guys are awesome. And also, the followers and favorites this story has, thank all of you! **

**And now, onto the highly anticipated (by me at least) chapter in which Jackie learns her daughter is now a Time Lord and, as Rose aptly described it is "running off with her alien boyfriend." This is going to be a much lighter, more humorous chapter than the rest, and I hope everyone had a lovely holiday! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If you think I own Doctor Who I'll tell Jackie to slap you.**

The Doctor had complained endlessly about being dragged to the Tyler mansion. He apparently thought there were other important things to do, like run very quickly in the opposite direction. Rose was pretty sure she knew why be was so skittish, especially when he rubbed his jaw unconsciously as she talked about Jackie. And then she'd given him he'd best puppy dog eyes- she still hadn't seen what she looked like yet- and he gave in.

So as they landed, hurled laughing onto the floor of the TARDIS in each others' arms, Rose felt her own stomach twist nervously. Surely Jackie wouldn't resent her. Her mother's words at the Battle of Canary Wharf came back to her- "She won't be Rose Tyler anymore, she won't even be human." Rose had never told her, but that hurt, and now that she really wasn't human, Rose was terrified Jackie would reject her as her daughter. She didn't think she looked that different, shooting a glance at the Doctor out of the corner of her eye. He was waiting for her, not exactly enthusiastic about going in himself. Well, it was now or never.

Rose stepped out of the TARDIS, one hand locked in the Doctors, the other twisting itself into her hair. She'd noticed little things about herself that were different- instead of chewing her nails, she tended to fiddle with her hair: a nervous habit that was certainly more attractive than the former. And her fashion sense was... Odd. After she'd changed out of her ruined, dust-blood-and-dirt covered dress, she had put on a pair of leggings, grey flannel shirt, and cropped navy jacket, complete with knee-high leather boots. It was certainly a bit...(sultrier?) than what she'd have worn before. Her Mum might not even recognize her, heck she might not even recognize herself, if she could ever find a mirror.

"Rose? You okay? We don't have to go in you know. We can just skip it and go for some chips or something..." the Doctor said, tugging her back to the present. She realized with a slight blush that she'd been standing there, one hand on the door, for over a minute. One minute and 25 seconds, she told herself, enjoying that ability very much. She gave the Doctor a saucy grin, just like before, just like always.

"Its Christmas Eve, and 1:34 am, you _really_ think there are any chip shops open?" Rose's face paled as she realized what she'd said. "No, no, no, I thought I said get me there _right after_ we sent the Torchwood message?" she rounded on the Doctor with a moan, face drawn in horror. His face was confused.

"I we did, we sent the message at 1:15- oh." Comprehension dawned on his face and he flinched as Rose rounded on him, tugging ger hand out of his and crossed her arms in front of her chest. The glare on her fave was icy.

"It would have taken only ten minutes for Torchwood to inform my family; _less_ because Pete is in charge. They think I'm DEAD!" she shouted, stalking towards him with a finger poking him in the chest, as he backed nervously into the railing by the door. Rose ignored his terrified, repentant look.

"At least its 19 minutes and not 12 months..." He had to know, as soon as those words slipped out, that he was done for. Rose slapped him, putting all of her frustration behind her hand, tinged with a little of the bitterness from being left here, and then immediately felt guilty when he clutched his jaw in pain. It didn't help that her new and still uncontrolled telepathic abilities picked up on his pain.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry. Really, it's just that Mum's gonna be so upset, and she doesn't deserve to be left thinking I've died, and she's pregnant for g-d's sakes and this stress isn't good for her and come on, lets just get in there," Rose huffed, taking the Doctor's hand and dragging him along. She could feel the TARDIS' amusement at the entire situation, and her expression softened a bit.

"Just let me do the talking, Doctor," Rose said, opening the door and stepping up to the back door of the mansion, right into the ballroom.

They walked in to utter silence, all of the guests were gone, and their footsteps echoed eerily in the huge, empty hall. Rose's nerves were on edge again, and she hesitated at the foot of the stairs. The Doctor squeezed her hand, and the reassurance that he projected into her mind gave Rose the strength she needed to walk up towards her parents' room. She stopped however, when she reached her room and heard sobbing. Oh, this was bad, this was very, very bad. Rose felt like she was frozen in place, her hearts beating so fast she was afraid that they'd beat right out of her chest. As the Doctor nudged his way past her, she was so wrapped up in her thoughts that it was too late for her to do anything as he pulled open the door to her room and dragged her in.

"Hello there again Jackie, Pete!" Rose could slap him again herself at his cheery tone. Jackie's face was wet with tears, and Pete's own eyes were rimmed with red. Rose felt her hearts breaking, and when Jackie came to enough to recognize the man standing in the door her face darkened. The gleam in her Mum's eye was terrifying, and Rose supposed the Doctor was digging his own grave as he grinned at her, completely oblivious. Jackie hurled herself at him before Pete could stop her at an amazing speed despite her swollen belly.

"You- you have the _gall_ to show up now? After she's _dead_? Where were you all those months? If you hadn't left her here and broken her she wouldn't have been so reckless, always working herself to death, jumping into danger, going off alone, and now she's DEAD and it's your FAULT!" she shrieked, her nose only a few inches from the Doctor's.

He shot an anxious look at Rose, and she knew it wasn't just because of his proximity to Jackie's palms. He was very concerned about her apparently reckless behavior. His priorities were about to shift as Jackie caught the glance. Her eyes, if possible darkened further as she looked Rose up and down, as if sizing her up. Jackie grabbed the Doctor's tie and yanked as he scrabbled to keep it from choking him.

"Jackie I didn't..." he started, but Jackie had already pushed on.

"And who's this? Your next 'companion' then? It didn't take you long to replace my daughter then, my Rose wasn't good enough for you?" That was when her hand finally connected with his cheek with a loud _crack_. Rose winced.

"She's not... I didn't"

Jackie let go of his tie to take in their joined hands and put her own hands on her hips, her eyes icy and expression one of complete contempt.

"Where'd you pick this one up then? If I can judge from your taste in clothing dear, let's just say I know your type," the cold look her own mother was giving her made Rose want to shrivel up, never mind that she had no idea who she really was. Unwillingly, Rose felt her eyes fill up with tears, and she automatically curled into the Doctor's side. Jackie's face darkened, but the Doctor was quicker. His face was that of the Oncoming Storm as he pushed himself in front of Rose protectively.

"Don't touch her. You have no idea what happened Jackie Tyler, so don't you _dare_ insinuate Rose is anything but an innocent!" Rose facepalmed, waiting for the other shoe to drop as Jackie seemed to swell with anger. Pete had a hand on her shoulder, but his eyes were fixed on Rose, calculated and perplexed.

"You're delusional, utterly mad, off your rocker. Rose is DEAD and whoever the HELL this redhead is, she ISN'T ROSE YOU DAFT SON OF A -"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Rose finally shouted. Pete's eyes widened as he heard her voice, and Jackie just looked heartbroken. Her eyes watered at the sight of her parents, so broken. "Mum, Dad, it IS me. If you'd just let us explain..." her voice trembled, and she waited. When there wasn't any shrieking or slapping, she continued, face still half buried in the Doctor's chest. "I well, I sort of did die, but the TARDIS saved me. It brought me back."

"But with a different face," Jackie said, catching on quickly, searching her face, "like him." Rose gave a watery smile.

"Yeah. Do you... Do you remember when I went back to get him, when I opened up the heart of the TARDIS?" Jackie nodded, and Rose took a deep breath. Time for the bombshell. "Well when I did that the energy started to change me, only I didn't know it. When I... died tonight, the TARDIS finished the process."

"Change you? What do you mean honey?" Jackie's face was guarded, and Rose was reminded of her words once more.

"I'm a Time Lord now. Like the Doctor Mum." Rose just stood there, waiting, and then she suddenly found her Mum's arms wrapped around her, despite the awkward hug because of her pregnancy. And then Rose was sobbing into her arms, and Jackie was just saying her name over and over.

"Oh honey, we thought you were dead. The Torchwood report says..."

"Uh, we may have faked that report. Couldn't exactly tell them I was an alien now could we?" Rose gave a weak smile, and Pete joined the embrace. He met her eyes over Jackie's shoulder, and she could feel it, his grief, as he knew what had to happen next.

"You're leaving." it was a simple statement, but it held so much pain, Rose could hardly meet Pete's eyes. She just nodded.

"But why honey? We still love you, even if you are an... alie- a Time Lord thingy," Jackie said fiercely. Rose smiled at her devotion, her willingness to overlook an entire species change for her daughter.

"Mum, I don't even exist here anymore. I never really did. And now... I'm gonna live a long time, a REALLY long time, and after... After you're all gone I'll be alone. I've got to go with the Doctor, Mum," Rose said, her voice breaking. Then she pulled away and stepped towards the Doctor, twining their fingers together. "But we've still got... 15 hours here?" she said, looking at the Doctor for confirmation.

"Yep! 15 hours in Pete's world before the Bridge closes and we have to leave. Plenty of time to pack up some of Rose's stuff, say good-bye-"

"Have a nice family dinner," Jackie said firmly. The Doctor ran his hands nervously through his hair, inching towards the door, but Rose caught him and pulled him back, wrapping her arms around his waist with a cheeky grin.

"That'd be great! Where's Mickey at? We need to invite him too," Rose said happily, and them wincing when she saw Jackie and Pete exchange guilty looks.

"We- uh you see when the reports came out, I, well I sort of chewed him out for not keeping a closer eye on you. He's probably at Torchwood now... I _might_ have tried to fire him. Or tell him to check the reports himself and kill the alien that did this. Or both," Pete said sheepishly. Rose blinked in surprise, never realizing he had that much of an intense streak. He really did care about her.

"I... Thank you?" Rose said, unsure what exactly she should say but knowing she needed to acknowledge it somehow. He just smiled.

"Well go on then! Call Mickey the idiot back here!" the Doctor said, practically bouncing on the spot. Rose raised an eyebrow, as she could practically feel-scratch that she _could_ feel the mischief and playfulness in him as he shot them all a beaming grin. Of course, he blithely ignored the warning glare she tried to give him. Pete just looked at him strangely, probably because of the smug, eager smile, but turned on his earpiece anyways.

"Director Tyler, can you request Agent Mickey Smith's presence at the Tyler Mansion immediately?" It was several seconds before he apparently got a response, and then he scowled. "No I don't care what he told you, I didn't fire him," his expression turned incredulous, "He can't quit, I didn't approve that! Order him to come over here now, or...or... Just do it!" Pete said finally, running a hand over his face and looking incredibly exasperated. Rose giggled, and decided she liked the sound of it, just a little more _delicate_ than before.

Jackie gave her a sharp look, before asking softly, "You're still Rose... Right?" The look on her face, torn between loss and hope, made Rose remember how she had felt when the Doctor regenerated. She took a deep breath, but to her surprise the Doctor gave her a serious, searching look up and down before turning to Jackie.

"Jeopardy friendly, loves chips, way too compassionate to be real, loves people that don't deserve it, forgiving beyond humanly- er Time Lordly possible... Yep I'd say she's still Rose," though the words were directed at Jackie, his eyes were on hers, their normally guarded depths shining with something that Rose now recognized as love. Though she didn't really think she was as amazing as he claimed, to know that he saw her that way... Rose found it more romantic than any candlelit dinner or love song. He dipped down to meet her lips, and as his tongue explored hers in a long, languid kiss, heat and _love_ flooded through her.

A quiet squeak of surprise brought her back to reality, and Rose pulled away reluctantly. She saw the Doctor lick his lips, disappointment plain on his face, but her amusement faded as she remembered the other occupants of the room.

"Oh," Rose breathed, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment, unable to meet Jackie's eyes.

"By the way, Rose and I are, oh how do you humans put it? Hmm courting? No that's 15th century stuff; not trekking, that's what Falonians do, and saying we are engaged in pre-mating rituals sounds a little... kinky..." the Doctor looked deep in thought, and Rose had to stop him before he just made it worse.

"I think dating is the term. Now stop talking, I think Mum's about to have a heart attack," Rose grumbled, peeking at her face. To her shock, there was none of the animosity or even protectiveness shed expected- rather, Jackie looked happy and- was that a smug smile on her face?

She suddenly marched across the room towards the Doctor, looking quite determined, and Rose exchanged a panicked glance with Pete, wondering if she should try to intervene. Before she could do anything however, Jackie grabbed the Time Lord in a bear hug and pecked him on the cheek. The Doctor still looked terrified, and he held Rose's hand like a lifeline. She sniggered at his expression while her Mum simply beamed.

"I knew it, knew it from day one when you whirled her off in that magic box of yours, only why'd it take you too this long to hook up," Jackie said, completely oblivious to the Doctor and Rose's bright red faces.

Rose fixed her with a glare, "Mum..." but Jackie plunged on.

"And honestly, after getting trapped in opposite universes, with my daughter pinin' away for you every day, it's about time. So when's the wedding date, since I won't be able to see it, at least promise me you'll get married on Earth." Rose just hid behind the hand she'd covered her face with, and she could sense the gobsmacked, mortified, and utterly speechless Doctor beside her panicking just a little.

"Erm, Jackie, isn't this a bit early, I mean we haven't even... We just... Married?" he said, voice rising to a squeak at the end. Rose frowned as she felt his nerves spike again, and rounded on him before Jackie could continue.

"Well we haven't talked about it _yet_ but I'm sure we _will_. Soon," she said to the Doctor firmly, emphasizing that between the two of them this conversation was so not over. Personally, she thought a wedding was a splendid idea.

Pete chose that moment to chip in his own thoughts on the matter, much to Rose's chagrin, "You _are_ going to make an honest woman out of my daughter, aren't you? She's given up so much for you Doctor, and now she's even changed species, and I'm just hoping you're worth her devotion, seeing as you two being in another universe I won't be able to come after your skinny arse if you hurt her." The glint in Pete's eyes was fierce, and Rose was reminded warmly of how much he really had become her father these last few months. And then she felt the Doctor puff up beside her defensively and in indignation, and she groaned quietly.

"I would never hurt Rose, she is, quite literally the most important, brilliant, _fantastic_ thing in my life. And I'll never lose her again either. Even if I have to hold her hand forever and never let go," he said earnestly, and Rose felt her hearts swell in love for this man, who had traveled across dimensions to find her and met her promise of forever. Then of course, in typical Doctor fashion, the one that usually resulted in the two of them running from a royally pissed-off group of aliens, he ruined it with his next words; "And anyways I highly doubt you could do anything to hurt me. I am, after all a Time Lord."

Rose rolled her eyes, muttering "pompous Time Lord," under her breath, though the Doctor's cheeky grin told her he'd heard. She was suddenly struck by the strange _normality_ of it all, Mum and Dad, questioning if her boyfriend was good enough for her. It was surreal, and very, very weird. And about to get stranger, as Pete looked intently at the both of them.

"Well whatever you two do, I give you my blessing," he said softly, and Jackie just murmured an affirmative. They all stood there in shock for a long moment, before there was the sound of feet on the stairs, and Mickey's voice as he reached the room.

"I've been looking all over the bloody mansion for you. Some nerve you've got Pete Tyler, Director or not! Blaming me for Rose's... for that, and then firing me, then demanding I get back here. Well no more! I quit!" Mickey stopped mid-rant as he walked into Rose's room, mouth still open, having just caught sight of her and the Doctor just to the right of the door, across from where Jackie and Pete were standing next to the bed. He was too stunned to even say anything, but Rose could sense his pain, anger, and sadness as she remembered he still thought she was dead. She gave him a look of sympathy and pity but before she could speak, the Doctor dropped her hand and bounded forwards to shake Mickey's enthusiastically.

"Mickety-Mick-Mickey! How are you doing? Saving Pete's World I'm sure, not so much the idiot anymore, I see. Let me introduce you to my new companion… Fleur!" he said, grinning like a kid on Christmas. Rose firmly resolved to give him coal for Christmas next year. Or the next time they landed on Earth around Christmas time anyways. Mickey's face darkened, and Rose knew what he was going to do before he did. Even as he raised his fist and threatened to loose a right hook towards the Doctor's jaw, Rose intercepted and caught his fist. It was an exciting discovery to find that she was apparently stronger now too, as Rose stood there, grinning tongue-in-teeth with Mickey's fist stopped inside of her own hand. Strike foiled, he settled for glaring at the Doctor.

"You replaced Rose, with some French chick? Figures. You always did have a thing for French girls. Well, if you were here to try to convince her to come back to you, you're too late. She's dead, not that you'd care," Mickey said with a snarl. Rose flinched a bit at the French jab, Reneitte was still a sore point in their history. The Doctor just stepped up beside her before she could stop him, and _had _to open his mouth.

"Oh, well, my companion and I were just about to have dinner with Pete and Jackie. How'd you like to join us." Mickey looked at him, and then at Jackie and Pete, and Rose could practically see his brain imploding as he tried to figure out when everyone had lost their minds. Time to step in and end the charade. _This isn't funny_, Rose thought, trying to project the thought into the Doctor's mind. She figured she succeeded, with the guilty look that crossed his face.

"Mickey," she sighed, "It's me. Rose, my name isn't _Fleur,_" she shuddered at the thought. "I… well, um, I sort of… regenerated into a Time Lord." The multitude of emotions that flickered across Mickey's face ranged from horror, loss, anger, and relief, to finally settle on joy, although his expression was still guarded.

"Rose? You're… alive? And, regenerated? You're like him then?" he asked, and she nodded, before dropping his fist. He looked searchingly into her eyes, and seemed to find what he was looking for. "You're perfect for one another now, not that you weren't before, but… it's like you really were made for each other now. I'm happy for you Rose." Rose felt her eyes flood with tears, despite the happy smile on her face. Mickey had grown so much since being her scared, jealous, but incredibly sweet boyfriend. He was a defender of the Earth too, and had become such a strong person.

"You were never a tin dog you know," she said with a soft smile. He just opened his arms, and she hugged him, her best friend forever.

"When you guys leaving? I know you won't stay here, so just get it over with," he said, voice tired. Rose fixed him with a look, and looked at her Mum and Pete next.

"Mum promised us a family dinner, so I suppose we ought to go down to the kitchens, yeah?"

The dinner, a strangely domestic event for both the Doctor and Rose, who were still contemplating their new relationship and miraculously brightened future, went surprisingly smoothly. They all avoided any talk of the impending departure, and instead talked about their lives in Pete's world, and the many differences between the universes, as pointed out by Rose and Mickey (did you know that here they don't have any mint-chocolate ice cream? It's awful!) It was several hours later that they finally retreated to the sitting room. The Doctor and Rose knew they only had a few hours left, and after her regeneration, Ros.e's energy was flagging. She hardly noticed when the Doctor carried her up to her room and laid her on her bed. As he started to walk away, she called out softly.

"Doctor? Stay with me? I just… I'm afraid I'll wake up and you'll be gone," she confessed softly, fighting off the waves of sleep threatening to shut her eyes. If she woke up and found this had all been an extremely vivid dream, dying and regenerating included, she thought she might die. For real. Even though she couldn't see his expression, she felt the Doctor lay himself down beside her and wrap her protectively in his arms. She nuzzled into his side, breathed in his warm, spicy scent and relaxed.

"I'll never leave you again Rose. Get some rest, I'll be here the whole time."

She only slept for five hours, but with her new stamina, Rose felt that was all that she needed, and there were still things to do before they left this universe, and her family forever. Rose spent another few hours packing up her things, not that she had much left here. Dumped in this universe with nothing but the clothes she'd been wearing, and dedicating her whole life to Torchwood, it was mostly work things that she had to sort through, and some of her journals and favorite outfits that she wanted to take with her to the TARDIS. She'd already transferred all of her Torchwood files to Pete, which fit with her cover of being 'dead.'

At last, it was time. Rose couldn't hug her parents without tears flowing down her cheeks, her hearts aching with the knowledge that they would never see her again. There weren't any words that she could offer them to stop the loss and grief on their own faces. The Doctor stood awkwardly by the TARDIS as she said her good-byes, he wasn't much for them himself, and Mickey likewise, was perched somewhere halfway between Rose's family and the TARDIS.

"Honey, we're going to miss you, but I know that this is what you want. Pete's right, you could never do normal, and now you have a chance to be happy. We could see it, you know, that you were never happy here. I don't want that for you. Rose Tyler and the Doctor… you're soulmates, never let go of that," Jackie said. Rose just nodded, and laid a hand on her mother's belly.

"Just tell my little brother about his big sister Mum. And how she travels through the stars with the Doctor. Please," Rose choked on her sobs and cut herself off, and Jackie just hugged her again.

"We're going to call him Tony. It was going to be a secret until after he was born, but we figured you could know now, since…" Jackie broke off, and Pete wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he approached Rose, eyes shining with love for the daughter he'd never expected to have.

"Rose, I love you like a daughter, even though I've known you for… seven months. I'm so thankful that I got to know you for even that short time, and I wish I could've had the chance to raise you to the amazing woman you are today. Good luck, darling." Rose gave him a soft smile.

"Dad, you really are my Dad, even if I've known you for, as you said, a really short time. I missed you, or at least a version of you, my whole life, and I'm glad I got this time with you. Everything you've done for me, with Torchwood, and my life here, and just being there and understanding me… thank you." Rose couldn't stand it anymore, and she took a step back, dropping her Mum's hand and practically bolting for the TARDIS. She met Mickey's gaze as she stood outside the doors, the Doctor already opening them and waiting.

"I'm staying Rose. I have a life here now, got friends here. You've been my best mate since we were kids, but I've known for a long time now that that was it. The Doctor and his life are for you, but this place is for me. I know that you two are going to go save the universe- well, the other one anyway, so I figure someone needs to be here to save this Earth. Just… remember us." Rose nodded at Mickey's request, hugging him one final time and looking back at the family she'd lost and gained, so many times and in so many ways, and reflected on the fact that this was what had to happen. They were together, and she was together with the Doctor.

"Good-bye," she whispered, and then followed the Doctor into the TARDIS, clutching the console and drinking in the TARDIS' comforting song. For a ship that didn't technically have a family or emotions as per usual, she certainly understood it. And then the TARDIS projected to Rose that she did have a family, showing her a picture of the Doctor and herself, her Thief and Wolf.

"Are you sure, Rose, I mean, leaving your family?" The Doctor said softly, and she could see him, worried for her and afraid, still that she'd choose them over him. Rose nodded her head, and pulled him into her for a kiss as he pulled the last switch and directed the TARDIS through the Bridge and back to their home universe. This was where she belonged, on the TARDIS, saving the universe. The Doctor and Rose Tyler, as it should be, forever.

**AN- This was long, but I enjoyed writing this dialogue-heavy chapter. It's bittersweet, I know, but I felt like it had to end this way. One of those things, the story just wrote itself. I don't see them all wanting to leave their lives in the parallel universe, it just felt to me like everyone except Rose had adjusted, and while it would be heartbreaking for her to say goodbye, it would also be sort of expected. You never know, maybe there's hope they'll see one another again. Someone requested a sequel, and I've thought about it, but it's still on the back burner. I have around 7 'ideas' right now, and the question is whether I'll be able to finish them if I publish them all at the same time… Maybe I'll just do a sequel for next Christmas? Make a Christmas only plotline… Nah, that's too long to wait. Oh well. We'll just see what come of this 'verse, shall we? And so I bid you all good-bye, and for more Rose x Doctor awesomeness, check out my other stories. With this finished, Seeking the Light is going to progress a lot faster. (Shameless self-advertising, check.)**


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